Rhino Rumblings

Transforming Anxiety

2011-12-24T10:12:00.001-08:00

"The more original a human being is, the deeper is their anxiety"
Soren Kierkeggaard

"Large numbers of modern people seem to live fearlessly because they lack imagination. They suffer from an impoverishment of the heart. Total freedom from anxiety is the inner expression of a profound loss of personal freedom."
Karl Jaspers

"Our capacity for dealing with symbols and meanings, and for changing behavior on the basis of these processes - all are processes which are intertwined with our capacity to experience anxiety."
Rollo May

TRANSFORMING ANXIETY:
Anxiety is not something to be eliminated, but rather to be controlled....it is not only a necessary component to normal emotional functioning, it also provides a rough and ready measure of our capacity for feeling and expressing all the other emotions.
1. Try to think critically about the things that are making you anxious, consider your anxiety as a challenge to help resolve some of the uncertainity of your life
2. Write about your anxiety - a written description transforms a feeling (an emotion) into words and deprives that feeling of its privileged access and control
3. Between anxiety episodes, stop concentrating on how you're feeling - shift the focus from what you are feeling to what you are doing
4. Learn to repress your anxious thoughts as anxiety feeds on our internal fantasies in which we rehearse all the things that can possibly go wrong (repression is not an inauthentic way of shielding oneself from the totality of an anxiety-inducing experience, but an effective coping style)
5. Adopt regular routines (not the same as rituals)...the goal is to take control of your anxiety, rather than allowing it to control you
6. Stick to priorities during times of heightened anxiety...remember the brain is constantly renewing itself and changing its "programming" based on your thoughts, attitudes and actions (so if you want to reduce the level of anxiety, act as if you've already accomplished your goal)
7. Avoid too much free time as it can be the breeding ground for anxiety...yet compulsive work is perhaps the most common way in America of allaying anxiety...work is one of the handiest ways of relieving anxiety and it can easily become compulsive
8. Try to maintain perspective...when you are anxious, you are focused on internal events, on the narcissistic world inside your head
9. Turn to family, friends, or colleagues when you are feeling anxious...express your concerns and give others a chance to respond...isolation can increase our anxiety because when we are alone our fantasies escape the correction provided by another person's perspective
10. Make some form of exercise a regular part of your routine..anxiety includes a large motion component and we can have a hard time sitting still...exercise provides an outlet for that inner sense of restlessness

Highlighted by O'Steven from Poe's Heart and the Mountain Climber - Exploring the Effect of Anxiety on Our Brains and Our Culture
by Richard Restak, M.D.

Being Alone Together

2011-12-20T07:41:00.001-08:00

No agenda - except to help people listen to their own soul
Paradox - of being alone together, of being present to one another as a "community of solitudes"
Circle of trust - to support an inward journey of each person
And/Both - we need interior intimacy that comes with solitude and the otherness that comes with community
Simultaneously - we need solitude and community to check and balance what we learn in the other and together they make us whole
Community - means never losing awareness that we are connected to each other, not about the presence of others but about being fully open to the reality of relationship
Space - create a space between us that is hospitable to the soul, where we can be alone together
Formation - best describes the Quaker practice of creating a circle of trust
Disclaimer - it is not a process in which the pressure of orthodox doctrine, sacred text, and institutional authority is applied to the misshapen soul in order to conform it to the shape dictated by some theology
Soul - is always calling us back to our birthright of integrity
Invited - to conform our lives to the shape of our own souls..and grow our selfhood like a plant, from the potential within the seed of the soul, in ground made fertile by the quality of our relationships
What kind of space - our soul's essence is a mystery, like a wild animal...it is tough, resilient, resourceful, savvy, and self-sufficient, it knows how to survive in hard places
Shy - despite being tough it is shy, and seeks safety in dense underbrush, and if we can learn to walk quietly, sit patiently, breathe with the earth and fade into our surroundings, the wild creature we seek might put in an appearance
Community - unfortunately it too often means a group of people who go crashing around the woods together scaring the soul away...from congregations to classrooms we preach and teach and assert and argue, claim and proclaim, admonish, and advise and drive everything original and wild into hiding
Circle of trust - knows how to sit quiety "in the woods" with each other and wait for the soul to show up...not pushy but patient, not confrontational but compassionate, not filled with expectations and demands but with abiding faith in the reality of the inner teacher
Unconditional love - people who help us grow toward true self neither judge us to be deficient nor try to force us to change, but accept us exactly as we are...it surrounds us with a charged force field that is safe enough to take the risks and endure the failures that growth requires, drawn forward by love into our own best possibilities
Relationships - we are freed to hear our own truth, touch what brings us joy, become self-critical about our faults, and take risky steps toward change - knowing that we will be accepted no matter what the outcome
Presence - it is a gift we can give and receive right now, to people all the time
Soul - will show up if we approach each other with no other motive than the desire to welcome it...when we protect and border and salute each other's solitude, we break our manipulative habits and make it safe for the soul to emerge
A HIDDEN WHOLENESS - The Journey Toward An Undivided Life - by Parker Palmer

Have Passport Will Travel

2011-08-31T06:50:00.000-07:00

Old men ought to be explorers

Here and there does not matter

We must be still and still moving

Into another intensity

For another union, a deeper communion

- T.S. Eliot, "East Coker"

At the age of 56, I may finally be ready to enter the journey of the second half of life. Here is what Fr. Richard Rohr, a Franciscan priest has to say about that in his book Falling Upward. "Nothing can inhibit your second journey except your own lack of courage, patience, and imagination. Your second journey is all yours to walk into or to avoid. My conviction is that some falling apart of the first journey is necessary for this to happen, so do not waste a moment of time lamenting poor parenting, lost job, failed relationship, physical handicap, gender identity, economic poverty, or even the tragedy of any kind of abuse. Pain is part of the deal. If you don't walk into the second half of your own life, it is you who do not want it. God will always give you exactly what you truly want and desire. So make sure you desire, desire deeply, desire yourself, desire God, desire everything good, true and beautiful."

What I really desire in this second half of my journey is to partner with a dynamic team that is aggressively combining business investment with corporate social responsibility and strategic community philanthropy. Ideally this would be a company of social entrepreneur's (for-profit or not-for-profit) that have a local, national and international presence, while making a strategic impact as they expand operations in emerging economies and developing regions of the world.

I enjoy the challenge of establishing effective alliances among government, business and civic philanthropy partners. The first half of my journey has taken me to over 35 nations and allowed me opportunities to learn from and mentor young adults in Australia, British Columbia, Fiji, Norway, Brazil, New Zealand, Hawaii, England, Switzerland, Korea, Scotland, Holland, Ghana, Romania, Togo, China, Ukraine, Denmark and Egypt. I was also privileged to have extensive opportunities of walking alongside and equipping graduate level interns from around the world in 3-6 month urban practicums in Indianapolis.

I recently sat down to summarize the last two decades of my journey in Journal #69 and realized just how hard it is for me to describe where I'm coming from as I prepare for what's next.

Here are some highlights:

Player/Coach: Co-founder of several bride building enterprises between faith communities, corporations, business leaders and visionary global humanitarian entrepreneur's

Trainer/Mentor: Over 30 years of leading, encouraging and challenging young adults from around the world - I learned as much from them as they did from me

General Manager: Over a decade of coordinating State and County mental health contracts to provide faith-based / home-based counseling for at risk families and children in need, managing therapists and graduate interns with case loads of up to 60 families at a time

Pastoral Counselor: Personally worked with over 450 individuals and families and we had 85% overall success rate in reuniting children with their families- what a privilege to occasionally witness the miracle of family reunification

Hospitality/Discipleship: Co-founder of emerging faith community with 14 years of intentional presence in Indianapolis, hosting countless global guests in our commercial properties

Thanks to everyone who has accompanied me on bits and pieces of this journey over the years, especially all you Open Hand folks. Rich, for being with me on the road to Kumasi. Rod, for inviting me to join you in first class on our flight to Auckland and inviting me to explore the world. Ann, the wife of my youth and traveling companion over the past 30 years. Janet, for your inspired words of confirmation as we moved into the hood. Marshall for your ongoing integrity in the most difficult of situations. Elisabeth for loving life and living deeply as a true daughter of Eve. Derek for all your large art that populates our imaginations. Josh, for knocking open closed doors that intimidate so many of us. Scott and Jeannie, for driving down 32nd Street and deciding to anchor your presence in our community. Crazy, anointed YWAM around the world, for inviting us all into the wild Kingdom. All our global interns, for challenging us every step of the way. Nolan, for impregnating 215 with your contagious DNA, speeding up the evolutionary process for so many young adults. Humphrey, for recognizing and calling forth the Spirit of Marriage in our community. Bob, for introducing us all to Rabbi Ed Friedman and Bowen Family Systems Theory. I could go on and on as there are so many significant others of you out there.

I can't wait to see where the second half of life journey takes me and maybe some of you too.

What choice remains?

Well, to be ordinary is not a choice:

It is the usual freedom

Of men and women without visions.

- Thomas Merton, Cistercian Monk

Celtic Christening for wee lad Gabriel Joel O'Brien - born 12/21/2010

2011-07-27T08:53:00.000-07:00

Please join our global Open Hand community on Sunday evening, August 7th at 5:30pm for the Celtic Christening and pitch-in feast to celebrate the life of Gabriel Joel O'Brien, son of Joe and Mary O'Brien. (Reynolds home - 3173 N. Delaware Street)

Let's welcome home the O'Brien family as they journey to Indianapolis all the way from Brisbane, Australia. Can't wait. Good on ya mates....!

cheers,

A Celtic Summer Dedication - Robert Leonard Bernlohr

2011-07-03T04:50:00.000-07:00

"Love it will not betray you, dismay or enslave you, it will set you free. Be more like the man you were made to be."

The Challenge: Creative people like Mariann and Andy, and creative communities like Open Hand, often want to do more than simply reanimate that which has come before. Often there exists an impulse to create anew. In such a context creative folks look for signs of life and then begin to participate in and with it.

But many institutions and families go the other way. Rather than discovering life and building organic structures to give shape to this life, they inherit stale structures and go looking for life. This is a Herculean task. They also tend to value control, stability, and the ability to quickly resolve tension with a solution. However, one of the dominant currencies of creativity is tension - the ability to hold seemingly opposing forces in dynamic relationship without privileging one at the expense of the other or too quickly resolving it. New life is messy and doesn't always fit neatly into preexisting categories.

We are often concerned with orthodoxy (right thinking) or orthopraxy (right doing), but pastor and writer Dwight Friesen has suggested a third category ortho-paradoxy, that is, living rightly in the tension and mystery of the mysterious and revealed God of the Scriptures. Doing so requires and invites a radical dependence on the Spirit of God living in and working through his people in creation. Creativity values tension because it creates possibility, the chance that something might happen should the environment exist in a way that allows for life to emerge organically from it. Amen. Intuitive Leadership Tim Keel

The Charge: Andy and Mariann.... "Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your hearts and try to love the questions themselves...Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer." AMEN. Rilke

The Blessing: Now is your chance to bless this family with a personal word of love and encouragement.

Song of Worship - Sigh No More (Mumford & Sons)

Serve God love me and mend

This is not the end

Lived unbruised we are friends

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Sigh no more, no more

One foot in sea, one on shore

My heart was never pure

And you know me

And you know me.

And man is a giddy thing

Oh man is a giddy thing

Oh man is a giddy thing.

Love that will not betray you, dismay or enslave you,

It will set you free

Be more like the man you were made to be.

There is a design

And alignment to cry,

Of my heart to see

The beauty of love as it was made to be (x4)

Celtic Prayer of Dedicaiton

Thou Being who inhabits the heights

Imprint Thy blessing betimes,

Remember Thou the child Robert of our tribe,

In the Name of the Father of peace;

When the priest of the King

On him puts the water of meaning,

Grant Robert the blessing of the Three

Who fill the heights.

The Blessing of the Three

Who fill the heights.

Sprinkle down upon Robert Thy grace,

Give Thou to him virtue and growth,

Give Thou to him strength and guidance,

Give Thou to him flocks and possessions,

Sense and reason void of guile,

Angel wisdom in his day,

That Robert may stand without reproach

In Thy presence,

He may stand without reproach

In Thy presence.

Women (gather around Mariann and Bobby and lay hands of them)

Men: The first blessing is in the name of the Father, representing wisdom.

Men (gather around Andy and Bobby and lay hands of them)

Women: The second blessing is in the name of the Son, representing peace.

Children (gather around Thulani and Bobby and lay hands on them)

Everyone: The third blessing is in the name of the Spirit, representing purity.

AMEN!

A Summer Celtic Christening for Robert Leonard Bernlohr

2011-06-15T14:39:00.000-07:00

Please join our Open Hand community Sunday evening at 5:30pm, June 26th for a pitch-in feast in honor of the extended Bernlohr/McGee Clan. (Reynolds home - 3173 N. Delaware St.)

We will celebrate the arrival of the wee lad Robert Leonard Bernlohr along with his proud parents, Mariann and Andy, with an outdoor Celtic Christening.

Be with us and bring a blessing! Amen.

Curb Your Anxiety Friday - With Indy Summer Interns

2011-06-12T18:13:00.001-07:00

Kick back with us on the front porch Friday, june 17th as we hear from several interns laboring to lower Indy's collective anxiety this summer. Enjoy pizza, cold drinks, and snacks with them from 6:30 - 9:oo pm - 3173 N. Delaware Street.

Three of these interns living in our community include Andrea with AmeriCorps (Reynolds home) , Jeannette with the Neighborhood Christian Legal Clinic (215), and Najib at the Indianapolis Star (Rod's home).

Bring a friend......

cheers,

What the Hell! Love Wins?

2011-05-26T07:43:00.000-07:00

Ok, I bought the book to read for myself what the commotion is all about. Glad I did.

My main criticism is that someone inflated a 40 or 50 page manuscript into a 200 page, triple spaced, 3/4 sized hard cover book with enough blank space for a second bonus book tucked inside.

Its not a book of poems. No need to take Rob Bell's words and sprinkle them so sparingly on each page. It almost appears as if the book is laid out to be read aloud, perhaps for a podcast series.

But back to the content. I suppose his notion that Heaven and Hell are within each other, intertwined, interwoven and bumping up against each other, is enough to gall any evangelical fundamentalist. (Remember its not what you believe but how you believe what you believe that makes one a fundamentalist.)

He goes on to define Hell as "our refusal to trust God's retelling of our story." The backdrop for this interpretation is Luke 15 and the story Jesus told of two wayward sons and a loving father.

The youngest son believes he is cut off, estranged, no longer deserving to be his father's son because of all the horrible things he has done. His sees his badness as the problem.

The older brother believes that he deserves to be a favored son because of all the good he's done. He obeyed all the rules and 'slaved' for his father all his life.

Yes the younger brothers wrongs have led him into misery and separation, but the older brothers rigid goodness has also served to distance him from his father. Bell's point is that our badness can and does separate us from God's love and so can our goodness.

The father throws a celebratory feast for the youngest son welcoming him back into the family with a robe, ring and sandals. The older son refuses to join in the lavish reunion party. He becomes bitter, thinks he has been wronged and is furious with both his father and younger brother.

The father responds with a different story, "My son, you are always with me, and everything I have is yours." He redefines fairness. Grace and generosity aren't fair and the father sees the younger brothers return as another occasion to practice unfairness.

Obviously he doesn't deserve a party. That's the point. That's the profound unfairness of the father. People are given what they don't deserve. The father retells the older brothers story just as he did with the younger brother. After all, "You are always with me, and everything I have is yours."

Whose story will the sons believe? Their own or their fathers. As Bell points out, the difference between the stories is, after all, the difference between heaven....and hell.

Jesus puts the older brother at the party, but refusing to accept the father's version. Being at the party is hell for him and that's what makes it so hellish. It's not a picture of separation, but one of dis-integration.

Hell is our refusal to trust God's retelling of our story. We all have our own version of events and believe all sorts of things about ourselves.

The gospel confronts our story with God's version of our story. Beginning with the certain truth that we are loved in spite of our sins, rebellions and hard hearts. No matter what's been done to us, we are invited to live a whole new life without shame, blame or anxiety.

Hell is refusing to trust, often stemming from a distorted view of God. "We shape our God and then our God shapes us. A distorted understanding of God, clung to with white knuckles and fierce determination, leaves people in hell at the party."

"The father's love cannot be earned and it can't be taken away. It just is." It goes on no matter what, and all our darkness, sin and goodness and rightness are irrelevant when it comes to the counterintuitive ecstatic announcement of the gospel.

There is nothing left for the son's to do but trust the father's love. God's love simply is. "Father forgive them for they do not know what they are doing." Jesus forgives everyone without their asking for it. It is a unilateral love and God isn't waiting for us to get our act together.

"The only thing left to do is trust." We are already at the party. Heaven and hell, here and now. Our story? Maybe its time to listen to a new story, because the good news is better than that.

Love wins!

All things Irish with Generation Wes....Bono's Beach!

2011-04-23T07:24:00.000-07:00

Hey Hey Wes: Just praying for you today and all the amazing young folks from 215 that populate my imagination from the past two decades. What a profound blessing.....Here is an email I sent back to Open Hand Indy during our visit to Dublin back in 03.

Today the wind was hallowing in Dublin, the rain blowing sideways and one could really feel the foul weather...

We scheduled our "foot race" for 3:00pm from the front door of Wes' house to Bono's gate (the front gate of Bono's home) in an exclusive area of south Dublin on a cliff overlooking the Irish sea...a mere 5 miles one way. Ann, Kath and Nat were to meet us via an auto at the finish with photo's and warm, dry clothes.

We were off, battling the lanes, traffic, and the elements...loving every minute, chatting away like a couple of school kids.

After the first flat 3 miles the final 2 were hilly, slippery and narrow...passing by famous people's homes...there is Van Morrison's, there is the Edge's home....and on toward our final destination, Bono's front drive gate.

45 minutes into it we sprinted the final 100 meters neck n neck, shoulder to shoulder, hoping the women could get a photo finish so we could record the winner....no way...the girls were late, we blew by the gate, soaked to the bone, sweating and steaming...and skidding to a halt on the wet pavement. We made the best of it, found a narrow public path down the steep side of Bono's property and to the beach. Wes ran straight into the Irish Sea, with me on his heels and we shocked our exhausted bodies back to life...tumbling on the surf, rocks and sand.

Maybe Bono saw two crazy American's from his cliff perch above the sea or maybe he saw two Celtic Druid's doing what they had done on many wild days....jumping into the frigid waters to stone their souls with a searing clean pain....Amen.

Stoned cold on the edge again,

O'Steven

PS I filled my water bottle that day with Bono's beach Irish Sea water and brought it back to Open Hand Indy where we blessed, christened, and baptized many over the years before it was finally empty. I guess I need to get back there and refill that bottle.....Amen.

"Dear soul-mate and worshiper of life!

2011-04-23T06:51:00.001-07:00

Here is another archived email from the queen of Norway to Beowulf.......dated October 1, 2003.

Dear soul-mate and worshiper of life! First of all, I can't tell you how much I would love to have been in Indy celebrating you and Erica's LOVE for each other! Sitting here in Norway reflecting and looking back at our history together, I feel so privileged and alive! I realize how blessed I have been through our friendship which has given me so much fun, joy, laughter, love, anger, thoughts, faith and understanding. To see the beauty in life through your glasses has been exciting, passionate and a big portion with fun!

Remember my first day in Indy, Easter 1999, and you asked if I wanted to join you and Pete (your car) to an Easter party at Judy's. Since I came from YWAM you loved telling me the story about another YWAMer, Lionel ! He cooked food naked in the kitchen at 215! You really loved telling me that story, shame that I never got to see it.

You and Josh dressed in all black at the Patio when Todd was playing.

Your birthday party, when the whole 215 went to the Martini bar in downtown - me, you, Eric, Wes, Marc and Emerson - we all dressed up! That was my first night at the Jazz Kitchen as well, and many stories start there.

I love your passion for European pants, those tight ones, which people in Indy don't use! Keep on wearing your leather pants; I'm sure Erica doesn't mind at all.

Thanks for introducing me to the whole Latin community - Juan, Ruben and those "Mexican's". That was the start to the best international parties at 215!

Sunsets, discussions, gourmet dinners at the backyard, holy time at the grave yard, 215 parties, Juan, Ruben; thanks for sharing them with me!

African dance at 215 when you had a great scene dancing to Johnny Clegg. Your great aunt and nephews in Johannesburg; thanks for inviting me to this great family! Brewpub, swing dance at Babka's place! The black and red dress we bought at East and 38th street. The mini marathon with the banana. Our speed walks at 6am along Washington Street. Your poems. Shoe shopping, together. I am going to stop here, Nolan! Emmanuel is screaming and wants my attention, badly.

My soul is in Indy today blessing this beautiful couple. I am so happy that Erica is the ONE for you, Nolan! I knew it the first time I got to know her, she is a beautiful woman, with a strong sense of self, and an incredible passion and care for those around here! I am at peace.

I and Emmanuel are giving our blessing all the way from Bergen in Norway - and we really hope to see you here, maybe next time you go to Ireland? You are really welcome. Mi casa es tu casa - My home is your home.

All the best!

Cheers, Salute and Skal!

Faith, Hope and Love - Elisabeth and Emmanuel

"I'm smiling with the sun in my face. Could I be Irish?"

2011-04-23T05:57:00.000-07:00

I was reading journal #44 this morning and found this simple email message from Rich Starkey. "I'm smiling with the sun in my face. Could I be Irish?" Here was my response:

Hey Rich....If you can answer yes to the following questions I'd say "hell yes" you are Irish!

1. Do you get stoned to the soul by the power of words and music?

2. Do you often drink beers as large as your head?

3. Can you slide across the floor on your knees when dancing?

4. Do you get loud under the influence?

5. Are you under the influence now?

6. Do you practice heroic hospitality?

7. Have you been married to the same woman for more than 20 years?

8. Do you have a son to carry the Starkey name to the next generation?

9. Do you cry easily?

10. Do you have a warped sense of humor -laughing when others wouldn't?

11. Can you swear and not take the Lord's name in vain?

12. Can you hold a paradox until you burst with tension?

13. Can you pick a fight and then be over it the next day?

14. Do you spoil your children?

15. Do you spoil your wife?

16. Are you kind and generous?

17. Do you have a fair complexion?

18. Do you go upstream instead of downstream?

19. Do you like to read, I mean really read?

20. Do you attend church, at least occasionally?

21. Do you drink the blood of the Lamb?

22. Could you kill another with your bare hands if necessary to protect the life of many?

23. Are you deeply connected to your best friends?

24. Is the world your play ground?

25. Have you read C.S. Lewis - alot?

26. Do you like U2?

27. Can you tolerate rain, lots of rain?

28. Can you tolerate pain, lots of pain?

29. Do you get depressed in the dark cold half of the year?

30. Will you spend more money than you actually have?

31. Can you close a deal on a handshake?

32. Have you ever been Chairman of a Board?

I'm pretty sure you are Irish Rich, and I even found the Starkey name on mugs in Dublin to prove it!

Cheers,

Open Hand May Day Anarchists Gathering - Sunday, May 1 - Reynolds home

2011-04-20T17:03:00.001-07:00

Open House for Joseph Kaliisa - Uganda country director for Building Tomorrow

2011-04-11T09:37:00.000-07:00

Please join us this Tuesday, April 12th from 5:00 - 8:00pm at our home, (3173 N. Delaware Street) to meet and greet Joseph Kaliisa Bagambaki with Building Tomorrow in Uganda. We will provide food and drinks, and everyone can get to know more about their successful approach to building sustainable schools in Uganda.

Driven by a contagious ambition, Joseph has a passion to work for vulnerable women and children and to date has coordinated the opening of seven primary-level academies in Uganda with classroom space for over 2,100 students.

Please stop in between 5:00 and 8:00pm to meet and connect with Joseph!

Cheers,

Tag, you're it.

2011-04-09T11:23:00.000-07:00

Did you know that there is a wikipedia page for the game tag? It includes explanations for far more variations of the game than I ever considered as a kid. The large number of variants may be due to the inclination of children playing the game to constantly change the rules. I know I have observed Cole change the rules, mid-game, just because he wanted to skew the odds in his favor. We have all done it.

Tag is often referred to as 'tiggy' in Australia, which confused me for years because I was too embarrassed to stop the conversation and say "you mean tag, right?" But it is such a universal concept that you could probably refer to it by any name and people would know what you are talking about.

I was watching Cole play tag in his Judo class this morning and was marvelling at how much is packed into this very simple game. There are times I want to step in as a parent and straighten things out. To police the game and make sure it stays true. But that isn't what the game is about.

I think the game is about conflict and about roles and survival and the thrill of testing yourself against another. If you can't beat the situation with strength or agility, then you need to outsmart them by changing the rules and using logic or persuasion. I don't know if there is justice in a game of tag, but I see compassion and cunning.

The whole drama of the game captivates me. In studying the game, I have moved beyond my initial disappointment that things weren't progressing in an orderly fashion and now enjoy how it has let me see another facet of my child's mind.

It takes a village....Thulani Temba Marshall Smith - April 1, 1998

2011-03-26T12:19:00.000-07:00

Click on Photo to get full picture.....

Come help us celebrate Thulani Temba Marshall Smith's 13th Birthday, Friday, April 1st at his house - 122 E. 32nd Street - 6:00pm. Food and drinks for all, and as we say, "Cheers and well done Thulani!!!"

I just looked at my Journal Volume 6 - On the cover are these words: Thulani Temba Marshall Smith - The Peace Child & Creator of Hope, welcomed into this world by all of us, April 1, 1998:

Here is my journal entry for Wednesday, April 1, 1998:

"He was born at 4:30pm. We each held the boy and prayed for him in a circle as he was passed around. His mother sang a song....Rod delivered him as the birth coach. What an experience. I imagine we will have lots to talk about with Jenny (who gave birth alone as a teenager) and Laurie who has a daughter. I do believe he will want to adopt the child!!! Wow, saying "YES" more than "NO" has lots of ramifications."

April 2nd, 9:45 am: "Rod called from his cell phone...he is adopting Thulani Temba Marshall Simth, and brining him home to 215 E. 32nd Street. ROD IS A FATHER!!!!! Thulani is a grandchild of Judy Blough and godson of the Reel family. He will be raised to embrace his African heritage and American heritage. To God be the Glory."

Friday April 3rd, 7:30pm: Rod arrived home with Thulani Temba Marshall Smith. Judy had dinner for everyone. We lit the Rhino and Thulani didn't even wake up...he is a good baby. All the kids wanted to take care of the boy. We smoked a cigar and drank some beer, but forgot to open the Champaign."

Saturday April 4th, 9:00am: We went to Rod's this morning and everything went well last night. The baby slept well, waking at 3:00am and 5:00am. He will be getting a passport soon. Yesterday the ________ called and dumped some anxiety on Rod...about adopting the baby. Rod spent some time with Ann trying to get perspective...was he doing the right thing...was his mother being fair, not giving couples the chance of adopting the baby? He talked with her again at the hospital to get her input...she still was firm about Rod adopting Thulani...she explained that few American's have Ubuntu ("I am what I am because of who we all are"-soul, spirit), but Rod has it. They can communicate without words...the mother and Rod. It certainly seems right. "I believe the Lord has his hand in this...the finger prints of God are all over this..." Out of Africa, Amen!

Well done Rod, and Happy Birthday T.....

Next page in the journal: April 1st, 1998 Editorial entitled, "Moral preening on a trip to Africa" by Mona Charen. "....the outlook for most African babies born today is terribly bleak."

Cheers and Blessings on St. Patrick's Day

2011-03-17T09:46:00.000-07:00

Esther De Waal reminds us that the Celtic world of faith understood life as a journey rather than merely a destination. Encouraging a deeper, fuller way of being, of living within the whole of themselves and Creation, St. Patrick nurtured a nation of agrarian tribes in the baptism of their collective and fertile imaginations.

With a generous spirit of orthodoxy, the ancient Irish Christians were able to embrace the natural rhythms of Creation, both the light and the dark seasons. These seasons became symbols of the Celtic refusal to avoid pain and suffering, while at the same time rejoicing and celebrating the fullness and goodness of humanity created in the image of God.

Centuries before the Great Schism of early faith communities into Eastern Orthodoxy and Western Catholicism and long before the Reformation, Celtic Christianity was instinctively communal, shunning any separation of praying and living and working. For them faith was inseparable from ordinary life with no notions of sacred/secular divisions. All life including Creation was..."taken up by a Christianity that was not afraid of what it found but felt that it was natural to appropriate it into the fullness of Christian living."

Celtic culture shared much with the traditional and aboriginal peoples around the world who rejected overt individualistic and competitive inward-seeking lifestyles common today. They recognized themselves instead as belonging to one another and embraced life as mutually interdependent beings within the whole web of Creation.

Our quantum world and the new science that describes it today, speaks the same language of mutual holistic entanglement, linking us all together in this unfolding work of Art that we Christians call the Kingdom of God.

"The Celtic world touches all of this but yet remains totally unique, earthly, and mysterious, knowing darkness and pain but equally rejoicing in light, full of poetry and song and celebration, showing us the depths of penitence and the heights of praise, touching us in the secret hidden parts of our own selves and yet connecting us with others. So although each of us is in the end solitary, St. Patrick reminds us that we travel in company with those who have made this journey before us, by the whole company of heaven, the saints and the angels, a "cloud of witness", who surround us and who hold us up as we go."

Cheers, and enjoy the Celtic challenge!

Adapted from The Celtic Way of Prayer - The Recovery of the Religious Imagination by Esther De Waal

"Set down my name, sir!"

2011-02-18T10:34:00.000-08:00

"Then the Interpreter took Christian and led him up toward the door of the palace; and behold, at the door stood a great company of men, as desirous to go in, but dared not. There also sat a man at a little distance from the door, at a tableside, with a book and his inkhorn before him, to take the names of them that should enter therein; he saw also that in the doorway stood many men in armor to keep it, being resolved to do the men that would enter what hurt and mischief they could. Now was Christian somewhat in amaze. At last, when every man fell back for fear of the armed men, Christian saw a man of very stout countenance come up to the man that sat there to write, saying, "Set down my name, sir," the which when he had done, he saw the man draw his sword, and put a helmet upon his head, and rush toward the door upon the armed men, who laid upon him with deadly force; but the man, not at all discouraged, fell to cutting and hacking most fiercely. So after he had received and given many wounds to those that attempted to keep him out, he cut his way through them all, and pressed forward int0 the palace."

John Bunyan Pilgrim's Progress

Counseling with Dating Couples

2011-02-12T14:22:00.001-08:00

I had a dream last night that Rabbi Ed Friedman was conducting a premarital counseling session with Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz in front of a class of YWAM students. The session was being video taped and we all sat there mesmerized as the Hollywood stars began to answer questions while Ed fleshed out two genograms, side by side on a massive white board at the front of the classroom.

We were in Geneva, Switzerland and I had signed up to participate in a "Counseling with Dating Couples" class in his Family Systems Program. The syllabus highlighted the historic work of the famous Swiss Psychiatrist, Dr. Carl Jung and his influence on Dr. Murray Bowen, the pioneer of Family Therapy movement in the United States.

Friedman began the class by lecturing for a brief time on the difference between the more traditional symptom oriented counseling that tends to concentrate on the relationship of the dating couple, compared to the systems oriented investigation that focuses on emotional process in the family of origin over several generations.

He scribbled down three key components of the extended family approach to couples counseling:

1. First point - dating couples can't hear much premarital advice as they are moving toward one another at the speed of light and away from everyone else. The best way to assist them during this time is with a focus on extended family genograms that allow them to learn more about their own and their partner's backgrounds.

2. Second point - premarital couples haven't yet experienced the profound fusion (loss of self) that generally happens once they tie the knot. Marriage and having kids are the two most powerful events in life and the degree of fusion and or differentiation they can expect to experience is only predictable from a family systems approach looking over three generations of extended family emotional process. (They will behave much more like their parents than they are wont to believe.)

3. Third point - the typical linear "compatibility" model of dating focuses primarily on the personality of the two individuals and their relationship. A relatively calm courtship often times is judged as proof that the couple are made for each other. Actually a major component of "knowing" your partner is to experience how they operate in a crisis. And exploring family history is a much better indicator of how well individuals might cope with one another during a crisis after they have made the marriage commitment.

As he erased the board in preparation for the construction of two genograms, with stunned disbelief, all we could do was shake our smiling faces at one another as the two famous movie stars sauntered in and took their seats by the white board.

Friedman turned to the class and said, " I hope you enjoyed the recent movie, Vicki Christina Barcelona......because we are in for a real treat today!" With that, I was rudely awakened by Ann as she leaned over said, "Steve, will you quit talking nonsense about Barcelona, we are going to Sevilla."

Agh....shame! That was one (make that two) genograms I really wanted to see.

STEVEN Black + Winter White Classic British Biker Boot

2011-02-12T05:53:00.000-08:00

Wanda Jackson feat. Jack White 'Thunder On The Mountain' OFFICAL HD VIDEO

2011-02-12T05:37:00.000-08:00

Open Hand- Friday Morning Prayer Liturgy

2011-02-11T13:21:00.000-08:00

Friday Morning Call to Prayer

"He comes to us as One unknown, without a name, as of old, by the lakeside, He came to those men who knew Him not. He speaks to us the same word: "Follow thou me!" and sets us the tasks which he has to fulfill for our time. He commands. And to those who obey Him, whether they will be wise or simple, He will reveal Himself in the toils, the conflicts, the sufferings which they will pass through in his fellowship, and, as an ineffable mystery, they shall learn in their own experience Who He is." Albert Schweitzer

The Greeting (Doxology)

Praise God from whom all blessings flow;

Praise Him all creatures here below;

Praise Him above ye heavenly hosts;

Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost.

A Reading (All in unison)

Say among the nations, "The Lord reigns." The world is firmly established, it cannot be moved; he will judge the peoples with equity. Let the heavens rejoice, let the earth be glad; let the sea resound, and all that is in it; let the fields be jubilant, and everything in them. Then all the trees of the forest will sing for joy; they will sing before the Lord, for he comes, he comes to judge the earth. He will judge the world in righteousness and the peoples in his truth. Psalm 96:10-13

For Silent Reflection (Meditation)

Domestic order is obviously threatened by the margin of the wilderness that surrounds it. Marriage may be destroyed by instinctive sexuality; the husband may choose to remain with Kalypso or the wife may run away with godlike Paris. And the forest is always waiting to overrun the fields. These are real possibilities. They must be considered, respected, even feared.

And yet I think that no culture that hopes to endure can afford to destroy them or to set up absolute safeguards against them. Invariably the failure of organized religions, by which they cut themselves off from mystery and therefore from sanctity, lies in the attempt to impose an absolute division between faith and doubt, to make belief perform as knowledge; when they forbid their prophets to go into the wilderness, they lose the possibility of renewal. And the most dangerous tendency in modern society, now rapidly emerging as a scientific-industrial ambition, is the tendency toward encapsulation of human order - the severance, once and for all, of the umbilical cord fastening us to the wilderness of Creation. The threat is not only in the totalitarian desire for absolute control. It lies in the willingness to ignore an essential paradox: the natural forces that so threaten us are the same forces that preserve and renew us.

And enduring agriculture must never cease to consider and respect and preserve wildness. The farm can exist only within the wilderness of mystery and natural force. And if the farm is to last and remain in health, the wilderness must survive within the farm. That is what agricultural fertility is: the survival of natural process in the human order. To learn to preserve the fertility of the farm, Sir Albert Howard wrote, we must study the forest.

Similarly, the instinctive sexuality within which marriage exists must somehow be made to thrive within marriage. To divide one from the other is to degrade both and ultimately to destroy marriage.

Fidelity to human order, then, if it is fully responsible, implies fidelity also to natural order. Fidelity to human order makes devotion possible. Fidelity to natural order preserves the possibility of choice, the possibility of renewal of devotion. Where there is no possibility of choice, there is no possibility of faith. One who returns home - to one's marriage and household and place in the world - desiring anew what was previously chosen, is neither the world's stranger nor its prisoner, but is at once in place and free.

If we are to have a culture as resilient and competent in the face of necessity as it needs to be, then it must somehow involve within itself a ceremonious generosity toward the wilderness or natural force and instinct. The farm must yield a place to the forest, not as a wood lot, or even as a necessary agricultural principle, but as a sacred grove - a place where the Creation is let alone, to serve as instruction, example, refuge; a place for people to go, free to work and presumption, to let themselves alone. And marriage must recognize that it survives because of, as well as in spite of, Kalypso and Paris and the generosity of instinct that they represent. It must give some ceremonially acknowledged place to the sexual energies that now thrive outside all established forms, in the destructive freedom of moral ignorance or disregard. Without these accommodations we will remain divided: some of us will continue to destroy the world for purely human ends, while others, for the sake of nature, will abandon the task of human order.

The Necessity of Wildness - Wendell Berry

Response - The Kingdom of God

Out of death came life

AND GOD DEFEATED EVIL

An empty cross and an empty tomb, A nail mark shown and a presence known.

OUT OF SORROW CAME JOY AND GOD SENT THE SPIRIT

Coming like fire to all people and ages, Coming to birth in the water of life.

OUT OF DIFFERENCE CAME UNITY AND GOD'S PEOPLE WERE CALLED

Called to receive him in bread and wine, Called to be free in the power of love.

For when the Holy Spirit comes upon you, you will be filled with power.

AND BE WITNESS FOR CHRIST TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH.

Out of love comes celebration

AND GOD'S KINGDOM IS AMONG US:

Where peace is the means of making us one, Where truth and justice is done.

OUT OF CHANGE COMES POSSIBILITY AND GOD'S NEW CREATION BEGUN

Promise of splendor and signal of worth, Sources of all goodness, renewing the earth.

OUT OF FREEDOM COMES RESPONSIBILITY AND GOD CALLS US TO DISCIPLESHIP

In our compassion, making love known, In our conviction, God's power shown. You did not choose me, I chose you.

THIS, THEN, IS WHAT I COMMAND YOU: LOVE ONE ANOTHER. Amen.

Let us go into the world rejoicing.

It is Christ who goes before us.

THANKS BE TO GOD. AMEN

Curb Your Anxiety Friday (Theology Happy Hour) - with Father Noah Casey

2011-02-07T10:02:00.000-08:00

Please join our Open Hand community gathering, Friday, February 18th from 6:00 - 8:00pm with special guest Father Noah Casey, at the Reynolds home - 3173 N. Delaware Street.

As usual we will provide hearty refreshments, a light supper and drinks as we fellowship around the fireplace with Fr Noah. He will highlight some historic themes of monastic faith traditions that have informed and challenged the church for over 1,700 years.

(Our Bob Hunter toast will have to wait for another day - his flight has changed and he will only be landing in Indy after 10:00pm)

Cheers,

Systems Thinking

2011-02-06T08:28:00.001-08:00

"Systems thinking is the process of understanding how things influence one another within a whole." Wikipedia

"Only by restoring the broken connections can we be healed. Connection is health. And what our society does its best to disguise from us is how ordinary, how commonly attainable, health is. We lose our health - and create profitable diseases and dependences - by failing to see the direct connections between living and eating, eating and working, working and loving. In gardening, for instance, one works with the body to feed the body. The work, if it is knowledgeable, makes for excellent food. And it makes one hungry. The work thus makes eating both nourishing and joyful, not consumptive, and keeps the eater from getting fat and weak. This is health, wholeness, a source of delight. And such a solution, unlike the typical industrial solution, does not cause new problems." Wendell Berry essay - The Body and the Earth

Challenged, O"

Finding our way back to the Garden of Eden

2011-01-24T18:49:00.000-08:00

"The beauty of the female is the root joy to the female as well as to the male, and it is no accident that the goddess of Love is older and stronger than the god. To desire the desiring of her own beauty is the vanity of Lilith, but to desire the enjoying of her own beauty is the obedience of Eve, and to both it is in the lover that the beloved tastes her own delightfulness." C.S. Lewis

Catholic theologian Ronald Rolheiser points out the..."fundamental task of spirituality is to help us understand and channel our sexuality." The word Sex comes from the Latin root = and the verb "secare" literally means to "cut off", "to sever", to "disconnect from the whole." Therefore to be "sexed" essentially means to be cut off, severed from, to be amputated from the whole.

He goes on to remind us that sexuality is an all encompassing energy inside each of us creating a drive for love, communion, community, friendship, family, affection, wholeness, consummation, creativity, self-perpetuation, immortality, joy, delight, humor, and self-transcendence. Sex becomes an energy inside us that works incessantly against our being alone.

Sex is an expansive energy and we are healthy sexually when we have all these things, not just when we are sleeping with someone. A person can have a lot of sex and still lack true love. We can be celibate and still have community, family, friendship and creativity. Sexuality is as much about having friendships as it is about having lovers. Indeed as Rolheiser states, "It may be painful to sleep alone, but it is perhaps even more painful to sleep alone when you are not sleeping alone."

The Greeks did not ask one aspect of love to carry all the others. Their understanding of "Eros" had six systemic dimensions:

1. Ludens - love's playfulness, teasing, and humor

2. Erotic Attraction - sexual attractiveness and desire to have physical union

3. Mania - obsessiveness, falling in love, romance

4. Pragma - sensible arrangement in view of family, life, home and community

5. Philia - friendship, soulmates

6. Agape - altruism, selfishness, sacrifice

"Mature sexuality is not simply about finding a lover or even finding a friend, its about overcoming separateness by giving life and blessing it. Its about giving oneself over to community, friendship, family, service, creativity, humor, delight, and martyrdom so that God can help bring life into the world. It is also the pulse to celebrate, to give and to receive delight, to find our way back to the Garden of Eden where we can be naked, shameless, and without worry and work as we make love in the moon light."

Rolheiser explains that..."all these hungers, in their full maturity, culminate in one thing: they make us into co-creators with God. Mothers and fathers, artisans and creators, big brothers and big sisters, nurses, and healers, teachers, and farmers and producers, administrators and community builders....Co-responsible with God for the planet, standing with God and smiling and blessing the world."

Here are four of his fundamental principles that I strive to live by and hope to pass on to the next generation:

1. Sex is sacred and never simply a casual, neutral act, it needs respect and it thus builds the soul as a sacrament and brings God's physical touch to us...conversely if not respected it becomes a perverse thing that begins to disintegrate the soul. In a committed, loving and covenantal relationship sex is sacramental and part of the couples Eucharist. A privileged vehicle of grace. (Casual sex is often destructive of true community, and often of the individual soul as well. It can never be casual, but it is either a sacrament or a destructive act.)

2. Sex by its nature needs to be linked to marriage, monogamy, and a covental commitment that is by definition, all-embracing and permanent. Sex outside of marriage is a schizophrenic act. By its nature it speaks of total giving, total trust, and total commitment. Thus, if real trust, commitment, permanency, and unconditionality are not present within the wider relationship, sex is partly a lie...it pretends to give a gift that it does not really give and it asks for a gift that it can't respectfully reciprocate.

3. Sex has an inner dynamic that, if followed faithfully, will lead its partners to sanctity = God's energy within us...sex leads people to sanctity. Young people initially want sex, yet love creates a new desire, and sexuality demands not just sex but intimacy, exclusivity and commitment as well, leading to marriage and children and how much they change our outlook! Children grow and community expands and adults continue to mature, mellow and ultimately bless...Sex followed in fidelity leads to sanctity. Desire, working through us, if followed faithfully, keeps opening us up further and further to gracious adulthood.

4. Sex requires a healthy chastity - which is not the same thing as celibacy. It doesn't mean that one does not have sex, nor that one is a prude. Chastity is first of all, not even primarily a sexual concept, though, given the power and urgency of sex, faults in chastity are often within the area of sexuality. It has to deal with all experiences - it is about the appropriateness of any experience...ultimately chastity is reverence and sin, all sin, is irreverence. To be chaste is to experience people, things, places, entertainment, the phase of our lives, and sex in a way that does not violate them or ourselves. To be chaste is to experience things reverently, in such a way that the experience leaves both them and ourselves more, not less, integrated. Conversely, we lack chastity when we cross boundaries prematurely or irrevently, when we violate anything and somehow reduce what is. Sex, because it is such a powerful fire always needs the protection of chastity.

Amen....enjoy the challenge!

Adapted from Ronald Rolheiser's great book - The Holy Longing.

Hasta la vista baby......Annie is off to Spain!

2011-01-17T12:14:00.000-08:00

Here is our Celtic Commissioning liturgy for Annie Reynolds - 16 January, 2011

"Community cannot take root in a divide life. Long before community assumes external shape and form, it must be present as seed in the individual self: only as we are in communion with ourselves can we find community with others. Community is an outward and visible sign of an inward and invisible grace, the flowing of personal identity and integrity into the world of relationships." Parker Palmer

LEADERSHIP: To be a leader one must have and embody a vision of where one wants to go..so it is not a matter of knowing or believing one is right; it is a matter of taking the first step.

MENTORS & APPRENTICES: They are partners in the ancient human dance of the spiraling generations, in which the old empower the young with their experience and the young empower the old with new life, renewing the fabric of the human community as they touch and turn.

AUTHORITY: It is granted to people who are perceived as authoring their own words, their own actions, their own lives, rather than playing a scripted role at great remove from their own hearts.

IDENTITY: Our identity is an evolving nexus where all the forces that constitute our lives converge in the mystery of self: our genetic makeup, the nature of the men and women who gave us life, the culture in which we were raised, the people who have sustained us and harmed us - in the midst of this complex field, identity is a moving intersection of the inner and outer forces that make us who we are, converging in the irreducible mystery of human beings created in the image of God.

INTEGRITY: This is whatever wholeness we are able to find within that nexus as its vectors form and reform the patterns of our lives. Integrity requires that we discern what is integral to our selfhood, what fits and what does not - and that we choose life-giving ways of relating to the forces that converge within us. By choosing integrity, we become more whole, but wholeness does not mean perfection. It means becoming more real by acknowledging the whole of who we are.

DECLARATIONS OF COMMISSIONING (All in unison)

Annie will you embark on this journey to Seville, Spain, with a spirit of adventure, and as a steward of your unfolding vision to live abroad, while embracing a new culture, a new language, and a new people? I WILL

Annie will you continue your generational dance, and as much as you are able, apprentice yourself, while empowering with new life, those Spanish mentors that God gives you....and likewise accept personal empowerment from their collective experiences and wisdom I WILL

Annie will you continue to author your own words, determine your own actions, live your own life, refusing to play scripted roles, so that you may cultivate your God given authority? I WILL

Annie will you continue to explore the subtle dimensions of the complex identity of your life, and in this process of self-discovery seek to bring the inner and outer forces into harmony, at the intersections of your heart, mind and will? I WILL

Annie will you read avidly, and explore new and traditional works, embracing the challenges of being on the forefront of global trends in the marketplace, while creating new ways to do "old things". I WILL

Annie Reynolds, with God as our witness, we release you and we bless your....go with grace to Seville!

Let us pray (all in unison)

Almighty God....

Sun behind all suns,

Soul behind all souls,...

Show to us in everything we touch

And in everyone we meet

The continued assurance of thy presence round us,

Lest ever we should think thee absent.

In all created things thou art there.

In every friend we have

The sunshine of they presence is shown forth.

In every enemy that seems to cross our path,

Thou art there within the cloud to challenge us to love.

Show to us the glory in the grey.

Awake for us thy presence in the very storm

Till all our joys are seen as thee

And all our trivial tasks emerge as priestly sacraments

In the universal temple of they love. Amen.

BE THOU MY VISION

Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart

Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art -

Thou my best thought by day or by night

Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou by wisdom, and Thou my true word,

I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;

Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;

Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Riches I need not, nor man's empty praise,

Thou mine inheritance, now and always,

Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,

High King of heaven, my treasure Thou art.

High King of heaven, my victory won,

May I reach heaven's joys, O bright heaven's Son !

Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,

Still be by vision, O ruler of all.

We all love you Annie!

Red Rover Red Rover Send Annie Over - Seville, Spain

2011-01-07T09:48:00.000-08:00

Please join our Open Hand community for a pitch-in feast, Sunday, January 16th at 5:30pm, as we commission Annie for her upcoming I.U. Spring semester abroad in Spain.

Bring a side dish or desert and we will provide the rest including Spanish wine and meats. We will be celebrating at the Crane's - 3174 N. Delaware - our inaugural community gathering in their historic and recently updated home. (Thanks Jeff and Leah - can't wait!)

As they say in Seville,

Que corren los toros!!!!!!

Leadership and the Role of the Social Architect

2010-12-16T09:05:00.000-08:00

The Social Architect's task "is to design and bring into being organizations and communities that serve both the marketplace and the soul of the people who live and work within them. Where the architect designs physical space, the social architect designs social space."

According to author Peter Block, the role of the Social Architect is to create service-oriented space (in business, organizations, governments, schools) by giving those involved the necessary space and freedom to act on what matters most to them.

Three design criteria for Social Architects (and other leaders) as they line up the organizational structures / conditions necessary for promoting and acting on what matters:

1. Is vision, hope, idealism, energy fostered, promoted, encouraged?

2. Is intimacy, collaboration, open process made possible and held open?

3. Is there adequate space (emotional process) and allowance for depth, dialogue, exploration and a sense of adventure and risk allowed?

4. Is there room for failure in the midst of positive movement?

It seems that today's bias is toward more control rather than more freedom, more practicality than idealism, barter rather than intimacy, and greater speed rather than depth.

As responsible citizens and community members we are all called to show up and accept an invitation to participate, to create, to function as co-designers. Acting on what matters is an act of leadership that is not dependent on the response of those around us whom generally say "no we can't" rather than "yes we can try".

Leadership is about creating space for people around us to act on what matters while having the will to action, believing that it is possible to bring about change, growth and positive momentum.

Here are some of the essential capacities of the Social Architect / Leader in supporting and acting on what matters:

1. Convening: with a focus on all aspects of how people come together, the quality of the contact we make with each other, knowing the future is created as a collective act that requires attention to physically arranging the room appropriately, structuring the interaction and dialogue, allowing for open debate, focusing on capabilities (strengths) rather than on the needs (weakness) inherent in the gathering. Some key elements of convening include:

a. Leadership here is about creating an environment that knows what matters and fosters the ability to act upon it.

b. Care for the physical space of the gathering - including the aesthetic qualities of the room, making it conducive for group dialogue, for peers talking to one another in intimacy and openness.

c. Include high-interaction activities - we can't act on what matters alone and we need to make contact and encourage participation as we enter into context, content and agenda of the challenges and opportunities ahead.

d. Design airspace so that all voices can be heard - giving enough airtime is important, especially for the most doubtful and concerned...allowing for doubts to be expressed publicly, makes commitment possible for all and doubts do not have to be answered, only heard.

e. Aim at capacities and strengths - prioritize the discussion around people's strengths and gifts rather than focusing on their limitations.

2. Naming the Question: A leader (Social Architect) has the obligation to define the context, or the playing field and then help define and determine the right questions to start the conversation. Picking the right questions is a way of naming the debate. The Social Architect works within the community's requirements - including the concerns of funders, customers, and other stakeholders, opening the process by which compliance/achieving goals is measured and achieved.

a. Finding the right questions - and having them open-ended enough to engage everyone personally and organizationally while asking for ways to increase people's freedom so that better decisions can be made. How fast to grow, what are the challenges of growth...the person who names the question generally carries the outcome and we can't get bogged down answering too narrow a question.

b. Broadening the questions - Leaders job is to keep broadening the questions as this is what engages people, creating room for idealism, hope, and depth. We may need to stay with questions of purpose, feeling and relationships which require postponing the how? (Questions of methodology will never disappear and they don't need our nurturing.)

3. Initiating New Conversations for Learning: Technology can support relationships but we need to keep implementing high-contact and human being-based face to face conversations as much as possible, keeping all the voices involved over time. We foster positive change when we create the time and space for heartfelt unique conversations that discuss values, recognize doubts, and affirm feelings and intuition.

4. Sticking with Strategies of Engagement and Consent: Implied is that positive engagement is the design tool of choice. It is how social and cultural change occurs over time,

a. Complex challenges - when we face these difficulties, especially when we create systems that go against the default culture, dialogue itself is part of the solution. Productive conversation is an action step, not only a means to an end, but it is also an end in itself.

b. Chosen not mandated - keeping our intentions and will to live on the margins of culture requires that we talk through the implications and challenges of our choices with intentionally. We are looking to create a future that is chosen and not merely mandated.

c. Conversation - commitment and accountability can't be bought and sold, they have to be evoked, which happens as we dialogue over time. We become engagement managers helping decide who needs to be in the room at various stages and what questions they should confront while keeping to the ground rule that questions of intent and purpose precede questions of methodology.

5. Designing Strategies That Support Local Choice: We want to create social systems/ communities that people want to inhabit, so their input and collaboration is necessary. At a minimum members can begin to define and describe their requirements for participation. A Social Architect/Leader enables this participative design, and it may take a bit longer, but the alternative is to choose a plan/direction that may not be supported.

Here are some design elements necessary to construct a high functioning social system:

What is the mission of the system? Who decides this? Who are we really here to serve?
How do we construct the job of leadership? Who decides this?
What measures have meaning to us? Can we choose these collectively and limit their number to a few high priority ones - maybe three to five?
What learning and training is needed? Who decides this? Can different levels learn together in order to help overcome the social distance between levels?
What constitutes reasonable, transparent, just rewards? Who makes these choices?
How do we improve quality and introduce change? Who makes these choices?
How do we stay connected with our marketplace and those we are here to serve? How does everyone get involved in doing this?
What is our belief system about people's motivation? How does it fit with the values we came here to live out?

Who decides? Who is in the room? These are key elements in answering these questions. We are promoting activism and we intend to keep technology, barter and speed in perspective. It requires faith in our own capacities and the willingness to stop focusing on our weaknesses. Our weaknesses are always hanging around while our strengths have hardly been touched.

Summary:

1. Focus on strength - and we confront ourselves with our freedom and other people with theirs...which is so much more powerful than the usual deficiency-oriented view which only limits us and reminds us of imaginary boundaries.

2. Support local control and local capacity - try placing as many choices as possible as close to the work as possible helping them understand the economics of the business while becoming financially literate.

3. Be undeterred by failure - learn from it, hold steady, continue to support local choice while remaining on the side of challenge.

4. Care for the whole - all statements of purpose reinforce the lives of those in the communities served.

5. Be willing to be vulnerable - take the heat, admit failure, no rationalizations, no forced optimism, just dogged determination to move forward in the midst of doubt.

6. Value the human system first - people who do the work are the business, the community is the focus, highlight and tell their stories (not the leaders or funders).

7. Name the debate - carry optimism and idealism out in front of the institution/organization/community with faith in people as primary motivation, with a commitment to foundational ideals that transcend the daily grind of work and responsibility.

Something only has to happen once in the world, and then we know it is possible, and that it can be possible for us in our own situation....it can be translated into our own context.

Social Architecture generates an image, fostering imagination, a position and role for each of us to help co-create. Acting on what matters for one person happens in concert with those around them, as individual effort will not be enough if we don't encourage others to find their own meaning, their own voice. Without them we will not be able to sustain our own.

Adapted from the great little book, The Answer to How is Yes by Peter Block

Enjoy the challenge,

Overcoming the Darkness 23 degrees - 26' - Open Hand Winter Solstice 2010

2010-12-12T18:39:00.000-08:00

Join us this Sunday at Sunset - 5:38pm sharp for our annual Overcoming the Darkness Winter Solstice Celebration when the Earth's axial tilt is farthest away from the sun at its maximum of 23 degrees 26 minutes.

Reynolds home with a Yuletide Fire Liturgy, grog and chili dinner to follow.

The myth of answering to our boss - stop it!

2010-12-11T17:23:00.000-08:00

What power are you giving your boss that is interfering with your own purpose?

We tend to make the boss powerful because we falsely believe that without their support and approval we can't do our job. Our ambitions and dreams are held hostage as we become dependent on their support and approval. Here are four myths to consider:

1. They hold my future in their hands

2. They are key to my growth and I need to learn from them

3. They determine my work environment, morale and well being

4. They have the insight and wisdom I need to accomplish my job

It is actually foolish to believe that our boss will provide the keys to our future. There is no rational process guaranteeing a promotion, and despite attempts to be competent, judgments are merely subjective opinions. Their feedback has little to do with who we are and how we are actually doing our job.

Giving our boss power actually becomes an obstacle to learning. Our development and success is in our hands and it needs to stay there. They may wish to be helpful, but usually aren't.

Much of our difficulty comes from accepting the opinions of others rather than listening to our own internal guidance system. We have to light our own fire instead of placing our purpose in the hands of another.

By surrendering our functioning to others we automatically lose our freedom. And in doing so we forfeit our responsibility in creating our own culture by bringing the qualities we want into the world we inhabit.

They are not going to change. And we need to stop expecting that our boss will eventually understand us. They are not going to get it and even if they did there is no guarantee that they would want to help us get ahead.

There is no one to blame. We tend to think our boss is the problem and we want to fix them. They are merely expressing a symptom of the work system. Once they are gone another boss will step up and continue missing the point. We need to stay focused on our own behavior and get on with acting on what matters.

Jung reminded us that acts of disobedience are the first step toward consciousness. We are not here to fear or please our bosses. But our disobedience or betrayal can be a fuller expression of our own unique humanity. By disappointing authority we may be claiming the ground we stand on as our own. By choosing adventure over safety we are living into existential guilt instead neurotic guilt.

Neurotic guilt is symptomatic of an inauthentic life and stems from our fear of disappointing the expectations of others. We end up choosing to live a life chosen for us by others.

Existential guilt propels us toward deeper levels of personal integrity and challenges us to lean into our full potential. It is the ultimate redemptive value of betrayal and often will not be appreciated by those around us.

Betrayal can be a true gift that allows bosses to work through their own transformations while bringing emotional balance into our relationship systems with those in authority. It is a powerful stimulus for change especially when we can maintain contact rather than cutoff or alienation.

When we affirm our freedom and commitment to an organization, we can look past the behavior of our boss and instead respond to their intent. Our freedom and satisfaction come from acting to create what we believe in. And we can choose this independently of whether they support or reward or even want this from us.

The next time you find yourself wavering before your boss, remember that you are putting your future in someone else's hands. So stop it!

Take charge,

Highlighted from The Answer To How Is Yes - Acting on What Matters by Peter Block

Curb Your Anxiety Friday - A Swiss Christmas Celebration

2010-12-07T08:13:00.000-08:00

Join our Open Hand community for a special - Curb Your Anxiety Friday Swiss Christmas Celebration at our home - Reynolds 3173 N. Delaware St - December 10th from 5:30 - 7:00pm.

Enjoy a Swiss German Christmas Liturgy around the fireplace, with a Latino twist - led by Oscar Clavel, and including a Swiss French Gruyere fondue with white wine, fresh baked Italian bread and steaming garden veggies. Amen!

Ten Great Ways to Kill Your Church Staff - or just about any staff for that matter!

2010-12-06T11:45:00.000-08:00

For those leaders who want to keep and develop talented colleagues, here are the 10 most common ways to accidentally eat them alive - and how to avoid becoming sharks. (For those leaders who want to get rid of troubling staff members, this is certainly the way to do it.)

1. Demand perfection and conformity: If you are an insecure leader you will tend to demand unrealistic expectations. Secure leaders seek out competent staff and free them to work toward their potential. Leaders can learn from them and even be challenged by them as they become vocational colleagues.

2. Overfunction and of course micromanage: Insecure leaders tend to be willful, lacking the ability to respect and establish appropriate boundaries. They take responsibility for what is not theirs and foster overfunctioning, herding and groupthink by offloading their anxiety on others and imposing it on their staff. Effective leaders treat their staff like professionals and encourage them to function at higher levels of maturity.

3. Play the game of 'divide and conquer': Ineffective leaders don't develop their staff into a team of colleagues. Instead, fearful of losing control or influence they participate in reactive secrecy, sharing information with some while purposefully withholding it from others. This results in staff member confusion and the perpetual staking out of territory. Good leaders understand that specialization doesn't have to result in compartmentalization. They encourage teamwork by developing a culture of trust through integrity.

4. Neglect a theology of calling: A key question is, "Does the church call the staff, or does the pastor "hire" the staff?" Answered one way it looks like the staff "belongs to the pastor." Answered the other way, it reframes the relationship between the congregation and staff. Mature pastors foster a theology of vocation and allow the congregation to participate in the call of staff. They also allow the staff and congregation freedom to work out these relationships.

5. Don't plan the corporate worship service together: A great way to isolate staff and fail at cultivating a shared culture is to not have a weekly worship planning time together. Staff members' participation in leading worship also validates their vocation in the eyes of the congregation. The benefits of doing so include - spending significant time together, cultivating a shared corporate theology of worship, opportunities for prayer, reflection, confession, while tapping into the various talents and expertise that each staff member can contribute. All this helps develop a diverse culture of shared values and perspectives.

6. Maintain a dysfunctional personnel committee: Ineffective leaders often don't spend enough time developing this type of committee into an asset for the staff and congregation. Smart leaders cultivate healthy congregational resources and a high functioning personnel committee encourages everyone to aim for higher standards across the board.

7. Try to make staff members responsible for other people's functioning: Take this as a sure sign of fear and reactive behavior when the pastor/leader insists on making staff members responsible for the behavior of others. (a youth leader held accountable for the actions of the church youth, or a church educator pressured to increase the numbers attending classes). Effective leaders encourage staff to be good stewards, but don't hold them accountable for the decisions or behavior of others.

8. Lower expectations and standards: Ineffective leaders settle for less. Wise leaders cultivate the perspective that their congregations deserve top quality staff. There is no good reason to settle for mediocrity, and in doing so you will actually lose the best people first. Effective leaders choose personal maturity over experience and invest in the long-term. (It takes several years to get to the top of your game and a string of short-termed staff tenures get the congregation nowhere.)

9. Neglect your own spirituality: Leaders can only enhance the spirituality of the staff and congregation to the extent that they are growing and maturing spiritually themselves. Staff knows when the leader is not studying, not spiritually centered and when they are not feeding themselves.

10. Don't invest in your staff's professional development: Effective leaders are intentional in cultivating their staff by providing vision, providing the necessary budget for individual development, providing a sabbatical leave program and by nurturing a learning environment that encourages and challenges everyone.

Finally, here are a few reminders (by church staff members) of ways that leaders can keep a good staff:

provide challenge, vision, courage and a spirit of mutual accountability
stimulate an environment of theological reflection throughout the staff
become an enabler - helping your staff live into their vocational callings
be a team leader and team player, living out your own calling to provide vision accompanied by appropriate action
be a true servant leader and model redemptive relationships
be an effective educator and keen learner, investing in the future and encouraging your staff to do likewise
support your staff and value their input while inspiring and encouraging their vocational activities
have a pastoral spirit toward the staff as they are true colleagues and not mere "hires"
protect and champion the staff from the willful and destructive members in the congregation (be less fearful about losing a few troubling church members than about losing good staff)
never ask the staff to do things you as a leader are not willing to do yourself
never, ever, take credit for their work!!!!!

Adapted from Israel Galindo and his great book Perspectives on Congregational Leadership - Applying systems thinking for effective leadership

Enjoy the challenge,

Peace be with you......

2010-12-05T17:26:00.000-08:00

http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/7747137/

Cheers,

I and Thou.......A lack of clarity is indispensable !

2010-12-01T12:46:00.000-08:00

I suppose it is by no accident that I just dusted off my tattered copy of I and Thou by Martin Buber (translated by Walter Kaufmann) and reread these words:

"At that time I wrote what I wrote under the spell of an irresistible enthusiasm. And the inspirations of such enthusiasm one may not change any more, not even for the sake of exactness. For one-can only estimate what one would gain, but not what would be lost."

I find it ironic that this is the beginning of the Jewish holiday of Chanukah - that eight-day festival of light celebrating the triumph of light over darkness, of purity over adulteration, of spirituality over materiality. (It almost sounds like another exuberant Celtic holiday channeled by Holy lunar gravitas.)

I admit that I have never knowingly celebrated Chanukah, but will certainly do so beginning tonight.

Apparently more than 21 centuries ago, the Holy Land was ruled by the Seleucids (Syrian-Greeks ?) who were forcefully Hellenizing the tribe of Israel. And of course, against all odds the Jewish rag tag army defeated one of the strongest armies on earth at the time. They drove the Greeks out, reclaiming the Temple in Jerusalem and once again dedicating it to G-d.

With only a single days supply of olive oil they were miraculously able to light the Temple's candelabrum for eight days, until more sacred oil could be ritually prepared. And of course the rest is history - to commemorate this miracle the wise men instituted the festival of Chanukah.

Let me get back to Buber for a moment. He too, wrestled with a desire to get back to the roots of Judaism - back beyond the roots of Christianity. Away from the subversive Greeks.

The Greeks were profoundly visual people, glorified in visual arts. The Hebrews at the other end of the continuum entertained a strict prohibition against the visual arts. The Greeks visualized their gods in marble and intricate vase paintings. The Hebrews expressly forbade these types of images as their G-d was not to be seen.

Rather He was to be heard and obeyed. He wasn't an It but an I - or a You.

Post-modern Christians also attempt to get back to a pre-Hellenistic primal Christianity. The problem is that there never was a pre-Hellenistic Christianity. The Christian faith was nursed in Hellenism for over three centuries.

Paul was a Hellenistic Jew and wrote in Greek. The gospels were also written in Greek probably sometime after Paul's epistles. Although Christianity didn't deny its roots in Judaism, it was "born of the denial that God could not possibly be seen." And as Walter Kaufmann goes on to remind us..."Christians were those who believed that God could become visible, an object of sight and experience, of knowledge and belief."

Christianity and Judaism both emphasize trust and confidence in G-d. Christian faith however, seemed to always land in the Greek territory of very specific articles of faith that had to be believed. This naturally led to ongoing disputes about what had to believed by those wanting to be saved.

As the Reformation shied away from visual images, it came to rely more firmly on the purity of doctrines that led to salvation. This eventually led to bloodbaths and further divisions as each group of splintering Protestants believed they had a corner on the particular truth necessary for salvation

Buber highlights the Jewish doctrine which holds that people can at any time return to God and be forgiven. Judaism stresses the action, the repentance, not merely the state of mind or intellectual belief in forgiveness.

Thus, the book of Jonah is read aloud on the highest Jewish holiday every year. Remember that Nineveh was the capital of the Assyrians who conquered Israel. How could God ever forgive them without demanding some conversion? "When God saw what they did, how they returned from their evil way, God repented of the evil that he had said he would do to them and did it not."

The 'return' has always been at the center of Judaism. For Buber, man stands in a direct relationship with G-d and he is not focused on what we believe as much as how we believe what we believe.

In Kaufmann's translation of I and Thou he states that, "Among the most important things that one can learn from Buber is how to read.....we must learn to feel addressed by a book, by the human being behind it, as if a person spoke directly to us. A good book or essay or poem is not primarily an object to be put to use, or an object of experience: it is the voice of You speaking to me, requiring a response."

I close with some Buber passages that encourage a return to G-d, a true Jewish celebration of faith indeed. Amen. Enjoy the challenge!

_____________

"The I of the basic word I-It, the I that is not bodily confronted by a You but surrounded by a multitude of "contents," has only a past and no present. In other words: insofar as a human being makes do with the things that he experiences and uses, he lives in the past, and his moment has no presence. He has nothing but objects; but objects consist in having been.

Presence is not what is evanescent and passes but what confronts us, waiting and enduring. And the object is not duration but standing still, ceasing, breaking off, becoming rigid, standing out, the lack of relation, the lack of presence. What is essential is lived in the present, objects in the past."

______________

"Feelings accompany the metaphysical and metapsychical fact of love, but they do not constitute it; and the feelings that accompany it can be very different. Jesus' feeling for the possessed man is different from his feeling for the beloved disciple; but the love is one. Feelings one "has"; love occurs. Feelings dwell in man, but man dwells in his love. This is no metaphor but actuality: love does not cling to an I, as if the You were merely its "content" or object: it is between I and You.

Love is responsibility of an I for a You: in this consists what cannot consist in any feeling - the equality of all lovers, for the smallest to the greatest and from the blissfully secure whose life is circumscribed by the life of one beloved human being to him that is nailed his life long to the cross of the world, capable of what is immense and bold enough to risk it: to love man."

_________________

"Relation is reciprocity. My You acts on me as I act on it. Our students teach us, our works form us. The "wicked" become a revelation when they are touched by the sacred basic word. How are we educated by children, by animals! Inscrutably involved, we live in the currents of universal reciprocity."

_________________

"Hatred remains blind by its very nature; one can hate only part of a being. Whoever sees a whole being and must reject it, is no longer in the dominion of hatred but in the human limitation of the capacity to say You. It does happen to men that a human being confronts them and they are unable to address him with the basic word that always involves an affirmation of the being one addresses, and then they have to reject either the other person or themselves: when entering-into-relationship comes to this barrier, it recognizes its own relativity which disappears only when this barrier is removed. Yet whoever hates directly is closer to a relation than those who are without love and hate."

___________________

"Man becomes an I through a You. What confronts us comes and vanishes, relational events take shape and scatter, and through these changes crystallizes, more and more each time, the consciousness of the constant partner, the I-consciousness. To be sure, for a long time it appears only woven into the relation to a You, discernible as that which reaches for but is not a You; but it comes closer and closer to the bursting point until one day the bonds are broken and the I confronts its detached self for a moment like a You - and then it takes possession of itself and henceforth enters into relations in full consciousness."

___________________

Tonight I am going to light one candle and enjoy Chanukah and the celebratory Jewish traditions of eating foods friend in oil, topped off with sufganiot (doughnuts).

Cheers,

Curb Your Anxiety Friday - With the Bob & Joann Giannini

2010-11-14T08:35:00.000-08:00

Join our Open Hand community on Friday the 19th, 5:30 -7:30pm for Curb Your Anxiety Friday with Bob and Joann Giannini. They recently spent two weeks on the Island of Iona where the Irish Monks first landed and founded their monastery in 563.

Refreshments and light dinner included at the Reynolds home - 3173 N. Delaware Street. Cheers, O'

What is the Gospel? (according to Jesus?)

2010-11-04T10:17:00.000-07:00

Once again Brian D. McLaren has challenged us to rethink our theological certainties with the provocative suggestion that many believers haven't the foggiest notion of what the gospel really is.

Say what? Yes, see for yourself in his controversial book A New Kind Of Christianity - Ten Questions That Are Transforming The Faith. (Chapter 14 What Is the Gospel?)

Don't take it personally, after all Brian was in the same boat for many years. He would have answered the question by quoting the apostle Paul in Romans. We all know the theory of atonement called "penal substitution", which forms the basis for a formula of forgiveness for sin called "justification by grace through faith."

But what was the gospel according to Jesus? This is not a trick question. For Jesus, the gospel was the good news that, "The Kingdom of God is at hand." And Jesus's one-word preface to his gospel was - "Repent!"

"Repent" literally means to become pensive again or have a change of mind. And McLaren would add that Jesus was talking about God's new benevolent society being already among us. He doesn't believe Jesus was talking about going to heaven when you die when he proclaimed that, "The Kingdom of God is at hand."

Instead he explains that Jesus came to..."announce a new Kingdom, a new way of life, a new way of peace that carried good news to all people of every religion. A new Kingdom is much bigger than a new religion."

It wasn't a message about how individual souls might avoid hell and ascend to heaven after they die. No, it was primarily about God's will being done on earth as in heaven for all humanity. It was about Jesus's faithful solidarity with all people in our suffering, oppression and death. It was about God's compassion and call to be reconciled with God and with one another - here and now.

"It was a summons to rethink everything and enter a life of retraining as disciples or learners of a new way of life, citizens of a new kingdom. The good new proclaimed by Jesus Christ wasn't primarily a way of integrating Plato and Aristotle, spirit and matter, perfect being and fallen becoming, or even law and grace - even though, in a sense, it does all these things. More essentially, it was a fulfillment of the three prime narratives of the Hebrew Scriptures."

First, to accept the free gift of being "born again" into "life abundant" means participation in the new creation, a new Genesis of regeneration.

Second, to join Jesus on a journey of a new Exodus, passing through the waters of baptism, eating a new Passover meal (the Eucharist), and experiencing freedom from the powers that oppress and enslave.

Third, to become a citizen of a new Kingdom, imagined by the prophets and inaugurated in Christ, as disciples while demonstrating in word and practical deeds its presence and availability to all (as apostles).

Jesus says, "The time has come!" It is not some distant reality, but is at hand, within reach right now. "The time has come today to cancel debts, to forgive, to treat enemies as neighbors, to share your bread with the hungry and your clothes with the naked, to invite the outcasts over for dinner, to confront oppressors not with sharp knives, but with unarmed kindness. No wonder Jesus called people to repent: if the Kingdom is at hand, we need to adjust our way of life and join in joyful, painful mission of reconciliation right now, ASAP!"

"I am not ashamed of the gospel; it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who has faith, to the Jew first and also to the Gentile." Paul

Maybe this will help us read Romans (and Paul) with a new lens. After all who wrote Romans? This is a trick question. Not Paul.

He actually dictated it to a scribe named Tertius (16:22) and we can imagine him talking about a subject he loves, expressing unedited the natural flow of his thoughts and feelings. He is not writing a modern Western linear minded argument, but more as a Middle Eastern poet in circles and parables.

"If we read Romans keeping these realities in mind, I think we will become more sensitive than ever to the wonderful dance of the Spirit of God and the mind of a man in the context of a community in crisis. Together, the Holy Spirit and Paul make move after move toward the single goal of justifying the gospel as good new for Gentiles and Jews alike." Amen.

On Love

2010-11-04T08:13:00.000-07:00

On Love

If your are going to try - go all the way!

2010-11-04T07:57:00.000-07:00

Beowulf The Protector - All Saints Day 2010

2010-11-01T07:27:00.000-07:00

Beowulf: Died 21 October, 2010

As we turn your bones on All Saints Day Beowulf, we say Cheers!

Lots of Love from all of us......Berry is lost without you.

BEOWULF the Protector: 12 October 1997 - 21 October 2010

2010-10-21T21:52:00.000-07:00

Open Hand October & Celtic New Year Celebrations

2010-10-13T13:57:00.000-07:00

Join our Open Hand community the last week of October in celebrating the closure of the Bright Half of the Year, Halloween and All Saints Day, culminating in Halloween evening worship.

Thursday Evening Prayer with Bonfire 7:00 - 10:00pm, October 28th, 3173 Side Yard.

Friday Morning Prayer Liturgy 7:00 - 8:00am, October 29th, Van Gogh hospitality home.

Curb Your Anxiety Friday 5:30 - 7:00pm, October 29th, 3173 with pizza and drinks.

Halloween Sunday Evening Worship 5:30pm, October 31, 3174 Crane home (if at all possible). 493rd Anniversary of Martin Luther's 95 Theses and preparations for All Saints Day, November 1st.

Can't wait! Cheers, O'

Help Leah & Jeff Paint A Room - Saturday Morning: 9:00am - Noon

2010-10-12T14:36:00.001-07:00

Calling everyone who loves the Crane's! Please consider heading over to the their new old home at 3174 N. Delaware Street this Saturday morning. Bring your favorite paint brush or wall roller and roll your sleeves up.

With your help we can knock out several bedrooms between 9:00am and lunch. Pizza will be served at noon along with cold ones.

We may not be an Amish community, but we know how to paint interior walls.

Love you Leah and Jeff (and kids),

O' for the Open Hand community

Columbus Day - Going the Other Way

2010-10-10T22:16:00.000-07:00

It has become one of my favorite holidays in the USA.

As politically incorrect as it may appear, I deeply respect Cristo Colombo for enabling the "old world" to pull out of its doldrums 500 and some years ago. He was heading West when all the others were still looking East for ways to get around Africa.

His adventurous leadership broke through long standing emotional barriers that had restricted the imaginative capacity of medieval Europe for centuries.

The fact that he rode around Europe on horseback for over ten years trying to secure funding for his visionary (crazy) dream of sailing West, is an encouraging reminder that we can live into our vocational callings, even when things look hopeless.

Going against the grain is seldom easy. Fueled by a lifelong passion for sailing, and equipped with exceptional navigational skills, Columbus was relentless in his desire to test his intuitive knowledge. He knew the earth was not flat in 1492, regardless of what Thomas L Friedman says today in his bestselling book.

"Sailed to the WSW, and we took more water aboard than at any other time of the voyage. I saw several things that were indications of land. At one time a large flock of sea birds flew overhead, and a green reed was found floating near the ship. The crew of the Pinta spotted some of the same reeds and some other plants; they also saw what looked like a small board or plank. A stick was recovered that looks man made, perhaps carved with an iron tool. Those on the Nina saw a little stick covered with barnacles. I am certain that many things were overlooked because of the heavy sea, but even these few made the crew breathe easier; in fact, the men have become cheerful. I sailed 81 miles from sunset yesterday to sunset today. As is our custom, vespers were said in the late afternoon, and a special thanksgiving was offered to God for giving us renewed hope through the many signs of land He has provided." C.C.

11 October 1492 The Log of Christopher Columbus

I say cheers!

Give me that pill.....

2010-10-09T18:54:00.000-07:00

Okay.....raise your hand if you have ever used performance enhancing drugs. Don't worry, no one will know you are reading this blog when you do.

Those of you who internally scoffed and said something like, "Of course not, I am not a professional athlete.", or, "I didn't even play sports in high school or college, why would I need to get a leg up on anyone else?", probably weren't thinking about the drug, Adderall, often prescribed for ADHD or Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.

As I talk with college students about this, it is apparent that this popular drug is widely available on campuses around the country and cost a few dollars a per pill on the black market for students wanting a competitive advantage.

Say what! Yes, it is common knowledge among students that taking Adderall while studying for an exam, enables them to buckle down and lock in with a Zen like focus for extended periods of time.

The scenario seems to be wide spread. A student pops a pill, and then hunkers down in the library for hours of intense concentration. They are so focused and productive that it becomes hard to tear themselves away from the books, to get ready for an evening of socializing.

The Adderall is dictating one type of behavior and their hormones another. Tough choice.

If you know your classmates are taking a pill to enhance their ability to study and ultimately better prepare for exams, what's your strategy to keep up. Drink more coffee? For many, they see nothing wrong in mimicking what others are already doing to get ahead.

Sounds like the scandal in professional sports. Athletes recognize performance enhancing drugs are necessary if they are going to stay competitive with their peers.

Many parents with students (at all levels) get them diagnosed with ADHD so they have a legitimate prescription to keep them more focused 24/7/365. This might be especially advantageous for an easily distracted young boy, in a classroom full of more mature and capable girls. Most of us guys need all the help we can get to keep up with more sophisticated gals at all levels of life.

I'm not sure I would have traded my evenings and weekends of socializing in college for extended times in the library, even if hits of speed transformed me into a straight A test taker. But then again, maybe students today can have their cake and eat it too.

Alcohol has been around forever and is readily available for those wanting to kick start their social lives and lubricate the hormonal pull towards relating and connecting after the intensity of a day holed up in the library.

"Give me that pill...! I have to keep up with my friends."

"Give me that drink....! I have to connect with my friends.

"Give that other pill...! I have to get some sleep."

"Give me that smoke...! I need to relax."

"Give me that coffee...! I have to wake up."

"Give me that......."

Honesty and Truth-Telling in Families

2010-10-02T09:32:00.001-07:00

Nobody said it would be easy, but most of us grew up assuming that our parents would never intentionally lie to us, or deliberately conceal information about important things.

As kids we expected straight answers. After all if we couldn't be told the truth by our mom and dad, how could we ever begin to trust the universe, including our own internal world of thoughts, feelings and perceptions.

Here is where the problems begin. Parents can be no more honest and direct with their children than they are with themselves. And as a parent, I recognize the natural drift to focus on what I perceive as being 'good for us' rather than what is true.

I am as guilty as anyone in routinely telling my children when they were young what I thought to be helpful rather than conveying my true regrets, struggles, doubts, and uncertainties. It was much easier to talk about "how it should have been" than "how it really is or was for them."

As Harriet Lerner describes it...."we rarely describe our reality to each other with candor, and this failure constitutes a tremendous loss, for it is through our stories, which create an authentic connection with significant others, that we begin to uncover our deepest truth."

Anxiety and a reactive emotional climate makes it difficult to push against silence and secrecy in a family system. "I just can't be real; I can't be myself", is often an unspoken symptom of underground anxiety reverberating through the life of children. They learn from a young age to recognize and tiptoe around invisible family mine fields.

From generation to generation reactivity accumulates over time. Intense and painful events that have never been processed remain embedded in the emotional landscape of families, only to be reenacted with each new generation.

And it is this level of underground anxiety (emotional reactivity) in a family that determines how much freedom the offspring have to discover, clarify and express their own realities (truth as they experience it), and how accurately they will see themselves and others.

Anxiety polarizes and herds family members often towards fusion or the opposite, cut-offs. Toward disclosing too much or too little. Toward completely avoiding a subject, or focusing on it incessantly.

By the time chronic anxiety (as opposed to acute situational anxiety) becomes the family norm, it tends to lock members into a rigid authoritarian rules bound system or the opposite fluid and chaotic family system that is out of control. Either way, kids suffer in both extremely anxious family polarities.

Someone eventually has to take the lead and openness and truth-telling can't begin until at least one person steps up, calms down, and really begins to think rather than to merely react. Any movement towards greater truth-telling in our families will requires us to:

1. define ourselves more clearly to one another

2. to see other family members more objectively

3. to talk straighter about family issues that matter

4. and to acknowledge in oneself and others the full, shifting range of competencies and vulnerabilities that make us human

Usually that someone in the family is a motivated adult who has the capacity to reshape the emotional climate of the family system by changing their behavior. (A child generally has limited capacity to problem solve and to take risks with the adults on whom their very survival often depends.)

Positive moves toward truth-telling require us to remain less anxious, and to arrive at a place where our wish to understand the other people in our family is as great as our desire to be better understood by them.

Honesty and simply "being ourselves" is not to be equated with uncensored raw expressions of thoughts and feelings that are merely dumped out into the family system. Instead, being strategic rather than spontaneous may include timing and tact on our part.

Truth-telling requires us to "be ourselves", but to also exercise restraint as it may take extended time and effort to clarify our positions on how we really think and feel, and where we stand on important family issues.

Asking questions and remaining calm (I call it sitting on your hands) helps promote a less anxious process, and each question and disclosure often times evokes more new questions, new feelings and new disclosures.

Laying the groundwork for becoming better truth-tellers is a life long challenge. It can begin at any age, and be done by each and every family member over time. Where lies, secrets and silence have prevailed in the past, families can begin to reverse the process with humble acknowledgment and declarations of forgiveness.

The good news is that it's never to late. We can begin today. The great news is that we have little to lose and lots to gain. Why bother going into emotion-laden issues with our families?

Why not bother? There is probably no better way to discovering our own truths than to unearth the stories and family events that have shaped our own stories. These stories are us, and it is in exchanging and refining our personal experiences that we can begin to know our own truths. Amen.

Enjoy the challenge!

Cheers,

PS Peter, John, Nick and Annie - I'm all ears......OK, I need hearing aids sometimes, thanks for the journey! Love DAD

Adopted from the materials of Harriet G. Lerner, Honesty and Truth-Telling

"Here we go.....again!" The 96th Thesis

2010-09-30T18:08:00.000-07:00

This is not our attempt to re-create the Reformation.

"There are those who seem to wish to do so. They long for a Restoration. They would recover the old Confessions; constitute a catechism; rewrite the Tablets, even revert to sixteenth-century architecture.

Idolatry is not essentially the worship of a statue (in Iona or anywhere else!) Idolatry is essentially the worship of a static God....Our God is a God that moves. The paradox of his changelessness is that He is in constant motion. The sixteenth-century Reformers knew this. One of their mottos was 'A Reformed Church is forever to be reformed'. Thus to be true to them is to be imbued with the same Spirit that informed them. It is, like them, to be concerned only with how to make God living and relevant to one's own age." George MacLeod Founder of the IONA Community

MacLeod argued that most reforms had come, not because the Church had initiated them, but because of inexorable pressure from outside, and that it was more fruitful to look at the contemporary environment to see what it is saying to the Church than to look at the Reformers' insights and to try and recover them.

It is in this same Celtic spirit of Iona, that I post Brian D. McLaren's 96th Thesis (actually composed of 10 questions.)

Ten Questions to stimulate response: Preparations for the journey ahead.

1. Narrative question: What is the overarching story line of the Bible?

2. Authority question: How should the Bible be understood?

3. God question: Is God violent?

4. Jesus question: Who is Jesus and why is he important?

5. Gospel question: What is the gospel?

6. Church question: What do we do about the church?

7. Sex Question: Can we find a way to address human sexuality without fighting?

8. Future question: Can we find a better way of viewing the future?

9. Pluralism question: How should followers of Jesus relate to people of other religions?

10. What-do-we-do-now question: How can we translate our quest into action?

Remember that responses are not answers, which tend to end conversations even before they begin. Responses seek to stimulate more conversation and get the ball rolling.

To actually begin the journey, we need to address the short comings of where we actually find ourselves today and join him in confessing them to the watching world. Once again McLaren leads the way:

We acknowledge that we have made a mess of what Jesus started.

We choose not to defend what we have done and what we have become.

We understand that many good Christians will not want to participate in our quest, and we welcome their charitable critique.

We acknowledge that we have created many Christianities up to this point, and they call for reassessment, and, in many cases, repentance.

We choose to seek a better path into the future than the one we have been on.

We desire to be born again as disciples of Jesus Christ.

We pray that God will create something new and beautiful in and among us for the good of all creation and to the glory of the living God.

We need to evoke new ways of being, and being with one another. A new inner ecology, a spirituality of inner transformation via community, a growing and expanding network of connectivity. A people of "orthopathy" with distinct orientations of the blossoming fruit of the Spirit - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Orthodoxy: good thinking

Orthopathy: good being

Ortho-affinity: good relating

All three must interact and express themselves through Orthopraxy: good work and practice in the world, the creation God made, loves and will never abandon or betray.

We express our dependence on the gracious Holy Spirit, from whom we receive life and every good thing, in whom we live, move and have our being, and toward whom we move in our journey through this life.

We embark on our quest, launched by prayer.......

Amen,

Adapted from A New Kind of Christianity by Brian D. McLaren

Postmodern Transition...Between Something Real and Something Wrong!

2010-09-28T16:51:00.000-07:00

Here we go again! Brian D. McLaren has posted the 96th Thesis and rejoined Martin Luther's invitation for a new discussion. As you recall Luther nailed a document to the door of the Castle Church in Wittenberg, Germany back in 1517 and his 95 provocative statements rocked the Middle Ages.

"Out of love for the truth and the desire to bring it to light, the following propositions will be discussed at Wittenberg, under the presidency of the Reverend Father Martin Luther, Master of Arts and of Sacred Theology.... Wherefore he requests that those who are unable to be present and debate orally with us, may do so by letter."

McLaren begins his book A New Kind of Christianity describing his motivation..."Morning after morning I woke up in the brutal tension between something real and something wrong in Christian faith. The sense of something real kept me in ministry and in Christian faith; the sense of something wrong kept me looking for a way out. Somehow, by the grace of God, I held on to the something real long enough to begin to figure out what that something wrong might be. And eventually I began to get some sense of what to do to disentangle the one from the other, to hold on to the something real and let the other go."

With his spirituality intact he began to see that faith can transcend mere beliefs and what emerged was more a new way of believing rather than a rebuilt systems of beliefs.

He goes on to explain what he calls the "postmodern transition" from modernity where nearly all our Protestant denominations derived their institutional ethos in the first place: the mechanical universe of Sir Isaac Newton, the conquistadors, colonialism, the Enlightenment, nationalism and capitalism. In other words, our ancient Christian faith had been hijacked by a paradigm, framework or worldview shaped overwhelmingly by absolute scientific laws, consumerist individualism and rational certainty.

On the future side of the equation we have transitioned into a new postmodern realm of pluralism, relativism, globalism and ambiguity. Both modern Protestant branches of liberalism and conservatism were lost in the transition and in translation. McLaren states that both forms of modernist Christian faith were clueless in knowing and understanding the nonmodern and postmodern people outside their sanctuaries.

Roman Catholics were no better off and equally unable to evolve from their own medieval paradigms. They joined their Protestant brethren and made a similar bipolar adjustment, splintering into left/liberal and right/conservative parties that reacted to one another, while losing sight of the changing world outside their gated communities.

Harvey Cox, a Harvard Divinity School theologian speaks of the first era of Christianity (from Jesus through 300 CE) as the Age of Faith characterized by rapid growth, diversity, vitality, persecution, and courage. And that era ended under Roman emperor Constantine and the state alliance of Christianity with his Roman Empire. The unity of the church (and state) were promoted with creeds helping enforce submission to the emperor's regime.

This Greco-Romanization of faith codified belief as a tool of social control and the original catalytic faith of orthodox Judeo-Christianity and its three centuries of social transformation were effectively muted and diluted.

"Paradigms and dogma can be defended and enforced with guns and prisons, bullets and bonfires, threats and humiliations, fatwas and excommunications. But paradigms and dogma remain profoundly vulnerable when anomalies are present. They can be undone by something as simple as a question - a question about the divine right of kings, the origin of species, the relations between matter and energy, how races can and should relate to one another, the motion of planets, and the standard operating procedures used by the church."

Exactly my point! Perhaps it's time for another tipping point, another radical transformation, from"Here I stand!" to "Here we go again!" Not towards a new set of beliefs, but entirely fresh new ways of believing. In honor of Martin Luther, McLaren's 96th thesis is intended to generate new questions that inspire new conversations and ultimately launch believer's on a new quest.

"It is time for a new quest, launched by new questions, a quest across denominations around the world, a quest for new ways to believe and new ways to live and serve faithfully in the way of Jesus, a quest for a new kind of Christian faith." A New Kind Of Christianity by Brian D. McLaren

Stay tuned for the next blog highlighting his Ten Questions to stimulate responses: Preparations for the journey ahead.

Cheers, and enjoy the challenge! O'

"I caught you a delicious bass..."

2010-09-25T12:05:00.000-07:00

"Just follow your heart. That's what I do."

"Sperm in the air!" - What's in your imagination?

2010-09-21T08:42:00.000-07:00

When Freud was heading to London in 1938 he asked another Viennese intellectual what it was like, "London? How can you even mention London and Vienna in the same breath?", Zweig thundered, "In Vienna there is sperm in the air!"

I am beginning to sense another season of growth, innovation and the challenge of change and spirit of adventure for our Open Hand community from our small corner of the known world - 32nd and Delaware Street in Indianapolis.

It never ceases to amaze me. Somehow passionate folks (from all over the globe) hookup with one another, on our front porch, over a pint and simple meal.

What begins with a gesture of hospitality, sprinkled with opportune timing, commingles with laid-back open inquiry. The next thing we know, our collective imaginations are impregnated with the seeds of potentially innovative collaborations.

C.S. Lewis identifies this expansive condition as a freshly 'baptized imagination'. Apparently we can have multiple conversions. I know I have.

If I have learned anything from this fruitful process over the past thirteen years of intentional community its this: you bettered have a valid passport in your pocket, faith the size of a mustard seed and the ability to say yes rather than no, to very unreasonable opportunities about to come your way.

Strands of our original DNA were first articulated by Ann at the conception of our Open Hand community of faith. She, with Janet's confirmation, spoke out a promise from God that the nations would come and go from these properties on 32nd Street.

Part of our calling to live intentionally with a focus on global hospitality, has been to pry open a fertile space for emerging cross-cultural connections, and to keep it open. As Parker Palmer reminds us, we can't guarantee anything will happen. Fruit of the imagination (or the womb) is primarily a gift to be received.

As I told a friend recently, Open Hand is in the middle of a 25 year process of discovery. When I occasionally get a birds eye view and peer over the horizon I see nothing but wonderful challenges and opportunities ahead.

At last weeks Curb Your Anxiety Friday, I witnessed once again the global miracle of life finding a way, announcing another pregnancy from among passionate people. Amen.

What's in your imagination?

Timing: Finding Mr. Right at the wrong time.

2010-09-16T17:19:00.000-07:00

A young acquaintance of mine stated that she had met the 'right person' at the 'wrong time'. She went on to talk about the complexities of romantic relationships, and her pattern of meeting Mr. Right at the most inopportune times.

Mr. Right just happened to be married this time, and so it was extremely complicated she said. Without asking, I pondered how she happened to fall for a married man. She already knew what I was thinking and blurted out that they worked closely together in a stressful environment and quite naturally began to lean on one another emotionally which eventually erupted into a full blown sexual affair.

She reminded me that he was already unhappy in his marriage and that it was only a matter of time before he left his wife anyway. So I asked her why she was questioning the timing just now. Wasn't she going to get what she wanted? Mr. Right would soon be divorced and they could marry in time.

There's one big problem she said. "His wife is three months pregnant with their first child. This complicates everything! He will have to pay child support, work out visitations and of course remain in constant communication with her....... which will drive me crazy."

I asked if she had ever met his wife. "Yes, we know each other, she was a grade ahead of me in school. It will be very difficult for us both."

I sat on my hands and she continued to talk. She carried on for a bit and then began to cry. I let her.

Finding Mr. Right at the wrong time can be very stressful and I had no comforting words of wisdom. That was over six months ago and I have not heard from her since.

I have subsequently been in two more conversations recently with acquaintances (both married and single) who also found the right person at the wrong time. Getting the timing down seems to be a common problem among our species.

As my wise friend and colleague Rod would say, "We always want what we can't have." My wife Ann might put it this way, "She found Mr. Wrong at the wrong time. She could find Mr. Right at the right time, anytime."

I would say trust your gut, not your head or your heart and you will know if the timing is right. If not, well, you can always avoid personal responsibility and blame the other person.

Curb Your Anxiety Friday - with special guest from DR Congo

2010-09-15T13:59:00.000-07:00

Sawubona - Hello, I see your face!

Get ready to kick back and unwind Friday as we Curb our Anxiety with Karl, our special guest originally from DR Congo.

The Reynolds front porch, from 5:30 - 7:00pm, with pints, pizza, and popcorn.....Hear about what's happening in Africa from a man in the know, who speaks about a dozen languages and has been to just about every country in Africa.

Cheers,

"The only way around is through." Robert Frost

2010-09-14T14:41:00.000-07:00

STAY THE COURSE - SOMEONE'S BOUND TO STEP UP

"It's one thing to sit tight and see what happens out there. Quite another to be the one making things happen." Wharton, University of Pennsylvania, Aresty Institute of Executive Education

That someone who steps up is often the steward of a vision, a leader able to manage their own anxiety enough to point people in the right direction, even when those around them are falling apart.

The late Rabbi Ed Friedman reminds us that a leaders primary challenge is to fire the groups imaginative capacities while stimulating their resources.

In stepping up, true leaders:

function with integrity
promoting responsibility in others
when clearly defining themselves to others while regulating their own anxiety
and staying connected in the process
which stimulates the groups strengths and resources
while staying the course

Effective leaders live life to the max, acting on what they believe to be in the best interest of themselves and the group to which they are responsible. They are focused on their own functioning, their own integrity and their own responsibility.

Effective leaders help people grow by discerning between content and process, giving time to situations, and staying goal oriented.

Effective leaders focus on strength and empower people, stirring the groups resources, enlarging everyone's options.

Effective leaders focus on challenge and not comfort, without shaming or scolding, instead they ask questions, pointing everyone to the imaginative capacities of the thinking brain, inviting more light.

Effective leaders focus on integrity and not unity, looking through the window of their soul, not on pleasing or being nice - not on mechanical maneuvering of people, or a need for others love and approval.

Comforters and appeasers, along with know it all advisors are not helpful in anxious relationship systems. Love is only possible when we speak through the window of our own soul and speak the truth as we experience it.

There can be no true unity if integrity is compromised and being committed to the truth is far more powerful than any technique.

Effective leaders focus on the system and not the symptoms, noticing what is happening, but more importantly recognizing the structures, patterns and processes behind the symptoms.

Effective leaders function with open integrity - soundness, completeness, unity, purity, honesty - because secrecy promotes anxious reactivity generating triangles and secrecy itself is more harmful than the actual secret.

Secret meetings (a closed process) neglects the counsel to speak the truth in love.

Cheers, to those of you in leadership who are staying the course and stepping up to the challenge on being an effective leader. Remember that the only way around is through and you probably have what it takes to get where you are going.

Adapted from Generation to Generation and A Failure of Nerve by Rabbi Ed Friedman

Open Hand September Events - Say 'Yes' more than 'No'

2010-08-29T12:48:00.000-07:00

September 3 - Friday Morning Prayer Liturgy: 7:00am - Rod's Hospitality Suite, 124 E. 32nd Street - The Van Gogh House (Every Friday Morning - 7:00am)

September 7 & September 21 - Tuesday evenings combined men's and women's prayer: those with kids figure it out! Locations to be announced. (Several women have requested that we do this at least once monthly....)

September 12 - Open Hand Worship: Sunday evening, Reynolds Home 5:45pm, baby sitting provided.

September 17 - Curb Your Anxiety Friday: Pizza, refreshments - and dialogue on the Reynolds front porch - 6:00-8:00pm

September 26 - Open Hand Gathering: Pitch-in feast at Kath and Derek Powell's home - bring a dish, and a date, or a friend - 5:30pm

Let me know if we have other announcements to post......cheers, O'

What they didn't teach us in Sunday School...

2010-08-24T14:55:00.000-07:00

What we all learned in Sunday School......

2010-08-24T14:39:00.000-07:00

Fusion Fantasy - Vampire Love

2010-08-22T05:41:00.000-07:00

"Why does a woman spend ten years trying to change her husband and then complain, 'You're not the man I married!" Barbra Streisand

Fused people are controlled by their 'connection', an intense single mindedness in which they have given up their separate identities to become part of an undifferentiated oneness. At first glance is almost sounds biblical.....and the two shall become one flesh.

But, as illustrated in the blood soaked cover of Rolling Stone Magazine, we see a much more graphic and accurate portrayal of the tenacious nature of emotional fusion. We could define this as an invisible field of attraction, an almost demonic connection where boundaries are blurred and individuality is destroyed.

As sex therapist David Schnarch reminds us, "Giving up individuality (self) to be together is as defeating in the long run as giving up your relationship to maintain your individuality. Either way you end up being less of a person with less of a relationship."

All over the world marriages face the same common problem - maintaining the relationship while being true to self....or stated another way, fulfilling our dual needs for togetherness and separateness, and somehow balancing these two fundamental life forces.

Differentiation, as defined by Schnarch in his book Passionate Marriage, describes a healthy process where we maintain the ability to be our self even while we are emotionally and physically close to others - especially as they become increasingly important in our lives.

He goes on to remind us that well differentiated people can agree without feeling like they are 'losing themselves' and can disagree without feeling alienated and embittered. In other words, they can stay connected with people who disagree with them and still know who they are. They don't have to flee the relationship to hold onto themselves.

We can understand differentiation as the ability to stay in touch (connected) without being all consumed by other people. Unlike the entangled menage a trois of vampire love, our urge for togetherness and our capacity to care, requires us to be emotionally distinct people if we are to have true interdependence and mutuality.

An unhealthy entanglement results in people whose identity is primarily dependent upon their relationship. They are unable to facilitate the development of those they love and they ultimately lose their true identity when significant others do change.

Schnarch calls this 'borrowed functioning' when our pseudo self is artificially inflated and pumped up through emotional fusion, resulting in poorly differentiated people clinging to each other. This contributes to domestic violence and bloodshed - think vampires, or O.J., Tanya Harding and John and Lorena Bobbitt.

In reality our sexuality is about who we have been, where we have come from and now becoming the person we can and want to be. And the good news is that we can begin working on resolving the past in the present by focusing on what's currently happening in our relationships.

Healthy relationships are all about resilience rather than damage, healing rather than old wounds and potential rather than trauma. Becoming is always a process of growth, and doing what we aspire to be, we become that person. The good news is we get to decide. We can actually live our way to a new way of thinking and relating to those we love.

Hang on tight, because nobody's ready for the challenges of marriage.....marriage makes you ready for marriage.

Enjoy the challenge,

Highlights by O'Steven from Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch

A New Kind of Christianity

2010-08-19T17:18:00.000-07:00

Two of my favorite people in the world: Elisabeth Harnes and Josh Kupke. I have learned much from these two loyal friends over the past decade and they have consistently challenged my thinking and encouraged my faith or perhaps I could say they encouraged my imagination and challenged my behavior. Either way they have been wonderful allies, deeply embedded in my life and the DNA of our Open Hand community.

The fellowship we enjoy together reminds me of what Brian D. McLaren talks about in the opening chapter of his recent book A New Kind of Christianity. "Responses, please remember, are not answers: the latter seek to end conversation while the former seek to stimulate more of it....their primary goal is to start the interplay, to get things rolling, to invite your reply. Remember our goal is not debate and division yielding hate or a new state, but rather questioning that leads to conversation and friendship on a new quest."

In 1620 a group of pilgrims set out to embark on a quest from Holland to the New World in hopes of creating a faith community where they could live in honesty, openness and freedom.

Just before they boarded the vessel called Mayflower, their pastor had one last message of hope: "I charge you before God and his blessed angels that you follow me no further than you have seen me follow Christ. If God reveal anything to you by any other instrument of His, be as ready to receive it as you were to receive any truth from my ministry, for I am verily persuaded the Lord hath more truth and light yet to break forth from His holy word."

"The Lutherans cannot be drawn to go beyond what Luther saw. Whatever part of His will our God has revealed to Calvin, they (Lutherans) will rather die than embrace it; and the Calvinists, you see, stick fast where they were left by that great man of God, who yet saw not all things. This is a misery much to be lamented. For though they were precious shining lights in their time, yet God has not revealed his whole will to them. And were they now living, they would be as ready and willing to embrace further light, as they had received."

Much like these early pilgrims, our Open Hand community is on a quest, knowing that we have not yet seen "all things." Thank God there is "further light" to be discovered and more of Gods's will to be revealed as we "go beyond' our current understandings. For surely the Lord has more truth and light yet to break forth from His holy word.

Thanks Elisabeth and Josh for joining with me and our Open Hand community on our journey of faith over the past decade. You are both excellent traveling companions and I can't think of two more courageous mates that I would rather sail with. Climb the masts and tell us all what you see ahead......

Cheers and blessings,

O'Captain Steven

This is not a test. I repeat, this is not a test.

2010-08-13T04:03:00.000-07:00

I have never done what I am about to do. (At least not out loud and especially on the world wide web.) Don't take this personally. Unless of course you are compelled to respond.

I know a hand full of international missionaries, well really only two, that actually originate from Africa, and are faithful to the point of risking life and limb daily in their pursuit to live and share the gospel with the less fortunate in China and Romania.

She and he respectively, have faithfully pioneered fruitful ministries, impacting the lives of countless individuals as well as influencing city officials and governing structures in their respective locals. (I am not exaggerating when I say that they are leading catalysts of change in their respective countries.)

I am aware of ongoing financial challenges, with one needing $8,000 by the end of August that would allow her to walk through an open door of opportunity in China and the other celebrating the 10th anniversary of Mana Deschisa Romania. He has a need for more regular supporters to his monthly operating budget in order to grow the ministry.

Here is my request on behalf of Open Hand:

1.) A onetime $8,000 total gift for our friend in China.

2.) Ten new monthly donors for the ongoing support of Marshall Mckenna and Mana Deschisa.

Open Hand will send 100% of these funds to China and Romania respectively. Your gift is confidential, tax deductible and we will not solicit funding directly to any donor.

You can reach me anyway possible and I look forward to hearing from you on behalf of our friends abroad. (my cell is 317-918-0301)

This is not a test....please respond accordingly.

Cheers,

Curb Your Anxiety Friday the 20th with Kit Danley from Neighborhood Ministries

2010-08-10T07:19:00.000-07:00

Please join our Open Hand community at 5:30pm on Friday the 20th (Reynolds front porch) for a dialogue with Kit Danley from Neighborhood Ministries in Phoenix, Arizona. Pizza and drinks will be provided as we interact with Kit.

Jesus Through Middle Eastern Eyes

2010-08-09T15:43:00.000-07:00

Western scientific mentality steers us in the direction to deny the status of 'fact' (and therefore of truth) to anything not demonstrable by repeatable verification.

What if I say that on November 22, 1963...."A man with a rifle from a warehouse window shot and killed another man in a passing car." Every word is true (assuming we accept the Warren Commission finding), but how plain and meager the facts are. But take it further and say.."The President of the United States was assassinated." This is more fully factual because the victim is identified, the murder is stated as political and the overall perspective is truer.

Lets take it a step further and say that..."Men everywhere felt that they had looked into the abyss of evil and people wept in the streets." This actually tugs at the heart and is truer in a different way. It presupposes the other statements, and goes beyond them to describe more clearly the horrible nature of what happened.

Now look at the Gospels and the New Testament in the light of the above statements. They are much more like the third statement, involving more of the heart and soul in a confession of shared meaning - tied to history and to event.

That's how it is with Jesus - no neutrality, mere records or empty chronology. Rather a living participation and heart felt entanglement. For Jesus' story can't be described without a fuller telling involving heart, mind and soul.

Christian faith is fact, not mere telling of history, but poetry, not simple expressed imagination. Like the arched bridge that grows stronger with the weight placed upon it, so the story of the Gospels, bear up with reassuring strength, under the devotion of the centuries to Jesus the Messiah.

"What is music, asked Walt Whitman, but what awakens within you when you listen to the instruments? And Jesus is the music of the reality of God, and faith is what awakens when we hearken." Amen.

Wow, overlooked contributions from the Middle Eastern Christian perspective that have rarely been exposed to those outside the Arabic-speaking Christian world are readily available, texts that have inspired the faithful for nearly two millennia.

The idea that early Christianity was limited to Greek and Latin expressions has distorted historical reality and weakened our understanding of the roots of Christian theology and spirituality. During the 3rd and 4th centuries Syriac was the third international language of the church.

Middle Eastern Christians are the forgotten faithful, much like the Celtic Christian tribes dating back to the early Galatians and other Celt's scattered in Briton and Ireland.

We have so much to learn from our brothers and sisters in the Middle East and the wonderful book Jesus Through Middle Eastern Eyes by Kenneth E. Bailey is a a great starting point.

Cheers,

Why Marry? The Decline of Males

2010-08-07T11:52:00.000-07:00

WHY MARRY? My simple answer is to create families. Creating a family is the most biological, evolutionary, spiritual, soulful and fundamental human endeavor possible.

Lionel Tiger (no kidding that's his real name) published a book over a decade ago entitled The Decline of Males. Tiger's theme centered on the introduction of "the pill" in the 60's which for the first time in human history gave one sex (females) power and control over fertility.

In the not so distant past, birth control was a very uncertain science with a high degree of certainty about one thing - nature eventually won and pregnancy occurred after lustful passion between a male and female.

The introduction of the pill (and the subsequent "chemical pregnancy" of all female partakers of the pill) changed the balance of coupling negotiations and began a cycle of "paternity uncertainty" in which the male was never certain of who the father might be in the case of an actual birth. He had no way of knowing whether the female was on or off the pill, and was at the mercy of his partners actions or lack of action.

Thus began the "sexual revolution" and Cupid (his arrow in history was always the precursor to the shotgun and not the more misguided popular notion of something like a magic wand of love) didn't know who to aim at anymore....and even when Cupid took careful aim, there wasn't much fear instilled in the hapless male, who could easily shrug his shoulders and grab another beer while dismissing the arrow threat completely.

At the turn of the 20th century about 40% of all marriages were "shotgun"affairs, ones where everyone was essentially relieved - the female was fertile and the male was certainly going to marry her and everyone in the extended family loved the (early arrival) of the new baby.

A family was created and life moved forward. Nothing short of the story of Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus...one of the oldest and most respected worldwide drama's since the dawn of mankind. The pregnant and engaged young couple struggling to form a family and the entire world conspiring to help them. (The wise men bearing gifts looks something like the modern government in the West bearing gifts for the pregnant young woman - money, housing, assistance - everything necessary for survival.)

Actually the gifts given to the parents of Jesus would provide the necessary resources they needed for years to come. I have never heard anything about that in a sermon on Christmas...and the manger as least as depicted in American churches is about as nice as the cheap housing provided to young teen moms.

Society rally's around the pregnant female (typically everyone in the extended family)...all conspiring to promote the best interest of their beloved young relative. Even as the males begin to drift away, no one including Cupid most of the time, knows where to point the arrow or shotgun anymore.

So what happens in the early 70's? Roe vs Wade! Never underestimate the determination of a society to protect their beloved daughters from unwanted pain and agony. But why all the unwanted pregnancy's if the pill is so effective and readily available? I guess we have something of the paradox of the modern human life...unreliable human nature. Some call it "sin nature" I suppose.

Along with rising rates of unwanted pregnancy, declining marriages and uninterested males, there was an accompanying outburst of increasing divorce rates. Perhaps this all ties into my hunch that marriage is first and foremost about the "creation of a family" and not primarily about romantic love and sex.

When two people bind together simply to avoid negative societal pressure (another paradox is that there was all along a strong religious sanction against the sexual revolution and sleeping around and living together as unmarried couples and the pill etc.) and instead of living together against the wishes of the Church and the extended family they marry, many of those marriages ended in divorce after one to three years. Why?

Because they didn't marry to create a family! Instead they chose a lifestyle of freedom (no kids), materialism (two incomes) and excitement (infidelity) rather than responsibility, commitment and imagining and calling forth the future - KIDS.

I probably fit the model perfectly when entering into my marriage. We couldn't live together - in our case the Church and our families had strong sanctions against this and our only option was to marry. I wasn't thinking about creating a family - kids were far out on my horizon. I was in love with my best friend and I wanted to know this woman completely. The price was marriage. (We celebrate our 29th wedding anniversary this year and fortunately I have been blessed with four children and a courageous wife that gave up significant amounts of freedom, materialism and excitement over the past three decades to create our unique family.)

Here are the challenging highlights of Tiger's book:

1. The introduction of the pill profoundly changed our society and unleashed the sexual revolution

2. Men became unsure of paternity and gradually became less interested (or forgot) about the primacy of creating a family - they simply wanted more sexual experience from a variety of females

3. Laws were passed by law-abiding family members to protect their daughters from unwanted pain and abortion on demand became a constitutional right

4. Although there was still a strong current of pressure on many young lovers, divorce became easy as the lure of living together was not enough to sustain the daily tasks of routine marriage

5. Neighborhoods are now lacking fathers

6. In the 1,000,000 man march in D.C., 600,000 of them were not living with their children

7. Men have become more marginalized each decade since the 60's - thus the decline of males

8. The "Great Satan" as seen by Asia and the Middle East is the "rights of women" in the West - not materialism or capitalism....can you imagine if women could control fertility or abort the next generation whenever they wanted

9. Worldwide the industrialized nations are not producing enough children for healthy replacement of their populations

10. Paradox - 2/3rd of all pregnancy's in Russia end in abortion...they have lost nearly 20,000,000 in potential replacement population

11. Paradox - underdeveloped nations continue to lack birth control and they have too many babies

12. Laws are passed contrary to basic biological and evolutionary human development - welfare state in some Western nations encourage single mothers not to marry

13. Working moms often have some other kids mother watching their child in day care

14. Stay at home teen moms and other dependent women earn a low allowance that keeps them relatively poor and needy with at risk kids

15. Dis-arranged marriages in the industrialized nations leading to higher divorce rates worldwide

16. Chinese families exposing their daughters and having only a generation of boys - million of spoiled boys, with no siblings and not enough girls to even come close to providing wives for them in the future

I am not sure how accurate his observations are, but they certainly do stir the imagination. What would happen if we......?

Enjoy the challenge,

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living....

2010-08-05T15:16:00.000-07:00

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.

I want to know what you ache for

and if you dare to dream of meeting

your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are.

I want to know if you will risk

looking like a fool...

for love, for your dream,

for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets

are squaring your moon.

I want to know if you have touched

the center of your own sorrow,

if you have been opened by life's betrayals

or have become shriveled and closed

from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain,

mine or your own,

without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy,

mine or your own,

if you can dance with wildness

and let the ecstasy fill you

to the tips of your fingers and toes

without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic,

to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story

you are telling me is true.

I want to know if you can disappoint another

to be true to yourself.

If you can bear the accusation of betrayal

and not betray your own soul.

If you can be faithless and therefore

trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty

even when it is not pretty

every day.

And if you can source your own life

from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure,

yours, and mine,

and still stand on the edge of the lake

and shout to the silver of the full moon,

"YES!"

It doesn't interest me to know where you live,

or how much money you have.

I want to know if you can get up

after a night of grief and despair,

weary and bruised to the bone,

and do what needs to be done

to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know

or how you came to be here.

I want to know if you will stand

in the center of the fire with me

and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with

whom

you have studied.

I want to know what sustains you from the

inside

when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with

yourself

and if you truly like the company you keep

in the empty moments.

Oriah Mountain Dreamer

from the Dreams of Desire (1995)

Cheers, from the qG Irish Rhinoman

The Bible as a Sacred Cultural & Community Library

2010-07-26T16:17:00.000-07:00

Once again I have been greatly encouraged by Brian D. McLaren as he wrestles out loud with the authority question about how the bible should be understood. In his latest book A New Kind of Christianity - Ten Questions That Are Transforming The Faith he reminds us that we need a new approach to the Bible, ...."because we've gotten ourselves into a mess with the Bible."

From the Protestant Reformation forward, we in the Western Church inherited the slogan sola scriptura - "Scripture alone in enough!" That has now spawned over 27,000 different Christian denominations full of smart, articulate and well-meaning folks who find countless curious and unique ways to interpret the Bible over time.

McLaren asks the obvious question, "Enough for what purpose?" He goes on to answer his own question. "Enough to justify thousands of splits and to inspire centuries of bitter competition! Enough to keep preachers and theologians and writers in business for centuries? Yes, ....but that is not what the Bible is for."

What if the Bible is truly inspired by God, and yet it wasn't meant to stifle conversation but instead as McLaren states was..."intended to stimulate conversation, to keep people thinking and talking and arguing and seeking, across continents and centuries, then it has succeeded and is succeeding in a truly remarkable way."

Could it be that God's Word, God's speaking and self-revealing takes place between people in relationship, in community over time as we are invited to be part of an ancient and ongoing conversation that has the power to transform and disarm us....."rather than arm us with "truths" to use like weapons to savage other human beings?"

Perhaps the Bible was never intended to give us all the answers and short cuts to truth, but rather to guide us into a more intentional posture of humility, awe, respect and even rebuke and insignificance in the face of the mysterious and unknown?

If we consider the Bible as more of a sacred community library..."the record of a vibrant conversation, and a stimulus to ongoing conversation, it is beautiful, I'd say." The same creative Holy Spirit we read about in Genesis, calling forth life from chaos and darkness....."is the same Spirit running like a current through the characters of Job, Eliphaz, Bildad, Zophar, Elihu, and God. And we might add, this is the same Spirit evoking the text from the chaos of human writers in a vigorous culture. And this is the same Spirit hovering over us now, running like a current through us today, at this moment, evoking understanding as we seek to understand, to know, to learn, drawing us like an orchestral conductor into the holy conversation and symphony of the sacred Scriptures. And this is the same Spirit by whom Jesus is conceived, filled, and empowered..."

So from this perspective perhaps the Bible is enough - as a sacred cultural and community library to help us encounter the living God. "As the portable library of an ongoing conversation about and with the living God, and as an entree into that conversation so that we actually encounter and experience the living God - for that the Bible is more than enough."

As McLaren goes on to point out, this approach is beyond both liberal and conservative dogma. "The Bible they want to put us "under" tends to be the Bible as they have interpreted it, which unsurprisingly means we are actually under their authority as they stand over us with Bible in hand."

He closes this chapter with his hope: "...that this approach will not try to put us under the text, as conservatives tend to do, or lift us over it, as liberals often seem to do. Instead, I hope it will try to put us in the text - in the conversation, in the story, in the current and flow, in the predicament, in the Spirit, in the community of people who keep bumping into the living God in the midst of their experiences of loving God, betraying God, losing God, and being found again by God. In this way, by placing us in the text, I hope this approach can help us enter and abide in the presence, love, and reverence of the living God all the days of our lives and in God's mission as humble, wholehearted servants day by day and moment by moment. Even now."

AMEN!

Cheers, O'

Revelation Through Conversation !

2010-07-22T18:09:00.000-07:00

I am not making this up. Every time I sit down and read another chapter in Brian D. McLaren's book A New Kind of Christian - Ten Questions That Are Transforming The Faith, I come across something so simple and so obvious that it makes me mad.

By that I mean why didn't someone articulate these ideas prior to 2010? Really, why didn't I hear about these ideas early in my journey of faith, like back in 1976 or 1982 or even 1995.

I have waited patiently for over 36 years to finally come across these words...."revelation doesn't simply happen in statements. It happens in conversations and arguments that take place within and among communities of people who share the same essential questions across generations. Revelation accumulates in the relationships, interactions, and interplay between statements.

In this light, the biblical text doesn't give us cement blocks and mortar with which to construct a building of certainty from the ground up. It gives us a bunch of hammers and chisels in the form of stories and questions. With these tools we chip away at human constructions, and revelation is like the breeze or shaft of light that streams through the cracks. The Word, or Self-Revealing of God, in this light, isn't a bunch of lessons, morals, doctrines, or beliefs that God dictates or otherwise encodes. It is an event, a turning point, a breaking open, a discovery, a transforming and humbling and ennobling encounter that occurs to readers when they engage with the text in faith - the text with all its tensions and unresolved issues intact.

To say that the Word (the message, meaning, or revelation) of God is in the biblical text, then, does not mean that you can extract verses or statements from the text at will and call them "God's words." It means that if we enter the text and feel the flow of its arguments, get stuck in its points of tension, and struggle with its unfolding plot in all its twists and turns, God's revelation can happen to us. We can reach the point that Job and company did at the end of the book, where, after a lot of conflicted human talk and a conspicuously long divine silence, we finally hear God's voice." Or not....

See what I mean? Wow! As usual I have my wife Ann to thank. She is always lugging home tons of books, and from the library of all places. As I write this blog post in bed I can easily count over 47 books with titles like The Next Reformation - Why Evangelicals Must Embrace Postmodernity, by Carl Raschke, The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath, Leaders Who Last by Margaret J. Marcuson, The Company of Strangers by Parker J. Palmer, Sexual Bargaining by John Scanzoni, Soul Survivor by Philip Yancey, The Night Offices by Phyllis Tickle, two different version of the Bible, The Healing Power of Emotion by Fosha, Siegel and Solomon, Intuitive Leadership by Tim Keel, Picturing the Face of Jesus by Beth Booram, The Education of the Heart by Thomas Moore, The Healing Imagination by Ann and Barry Ulanov, and a giant book called The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett.

And these are just the books I can grab with my right hand on her side of the bed. (Did I mention Ann was an English major in college?) So thanks again to the wife of my youth for exposing me to some of the greatest minds to ever flesh out an idea on paper with words.

Yet even better than merely reading a lot of books, Ann is out daily in the marketplace engaged with real people, with hammers and chisels constantly discovering revelation through relationships.

Thanks Ann for dragging home thousands of library books over the past 29 years of our marriage and introducing me to writers like McLaren. And thanks even more for living out your faith in an extended community of global relationships while chiseling away at the certainty that keeps so many of us from the transforming power of revelation found in intentional conversation.

Keep swinging that hammer!

Love you like a rock,

Open Hand Jubilee Pitch-In Feast - Crane Family Purchase of 3174 Home

2010-07-21T09:57:00.000-07:00

We are happy to announce the sale of our community property at 3174 N. Delaware Street to Leah and Jeff Crane! They will be taking possession of the home on Monday the 26th of July.

Please help us celebrate this memorable occasion on Sunday the 25th of July by coming over in the late afternoon to help move a few boxes from the basement followed by a cookout hosted by the Crane's and Open Hand. The grills will be hot and cooking burgers and dogs by 6:00pm.

We have had a wonderful 8 years of countless guests, housemates and young adult interns from around the world living in the property formerly known as the Flander's Home.

Jeff, Leah and their children will be a great addition to the Open Hand community on 32nd Street. They want to welcome you all and continue the tradition of radical hospitality that has been a blessing to so many of us over the years! Cheers, O'

Elisabeth - Keep Dancing!

2010-07-20T20:17:00.000-07:00

Here are the words I read for my quiet time before bed this evening:

"There is a Methodist hymn about Jesus that goes: "I am the Lord of the dance, said he." In Thus Spoke Zarathustra, Nietzsche's own philosophical Gesamthkunstwerk, the theme of dancing is paramount. Zarathustra is not a prophet. Nor is he a teacher. He is a dancer. Nietzsche was ambivalent about the relationship of Jesus to Zarathustra. Nietzsche could only imagine the "Christian-moral view" of Jesus, which refused to dance, like Baptists for so long. Dancing is one of the root metaphors of postmodernity. It is not only an art form; it is also signification in motion. Music cannot be codified by Indo-European grammar; it cannot be "thought". But dancing is the sound of music combined with the performance and energy of the body. In the history of religion dancing has regularly been integrated into worship. It can be utilized for an expression of pagan and sensual rhythms, but it can also give form to the sensuous ecstasy of having come face-to-face with the most awesome God. When one is in the presence of the God of faith, one cannot easily sit still. Even at the risk of ridicule by his jealous wife, David danced before the Lord. The Scriptures indicate that Jesus might have danced. It appears that Paul did. Jews have never been ashamed of dancing. We can imagine what it means to dance "before" God. But what about "dancing with the Lord"?

Wow, I immediately thought of you Elisabeth and am so glad you are back in Indy visiting your Open Hand tribe. I can only pray that you continue to teach us how to dance with the Lord. Amen!
Goodnight,
O'
Chapter 8 Dancing With The Lord Charismatic Renewal and the Deconstruction of Worship
The Next Reformation - Why Evangelicals Must Embrace Postmodernity by Carl Raschke

"I want to be a legend. Is that wrong?" Lady Gaga

2010-07-20T18:13:00.000-07:00

Ok, I have to admit that I am one of Lady Gaga's millions of facebook friends. Or fans or whatever they call our curious tribe of global admirers that continue to be mezmerized by her performance art.

I recently grabbed the Rolling Stone July Summer Double Issue to read about the infamous interview that got General McChrystal sacked by Obama......at least that's what I told my wife.

Eventually I did get around to reading the rambling interview with McChrystal by Michael Hastings and was surprised to hear Ann come to the General's defence. "Of course he is going to say some outrageous things over the course of several weeks while running around the world with his loyal entourage.... passionate thoughts easily taken out of context by a roving Rolling Stone journalist. He doesn't deserved to get fired for his politically incorrect military jargon."

Say what? How can a superman like General McChrystal, who has proven that the human race needs less sleep (only 4 hours a night), less calories (one meal a day) and more exercise (runs 7 miles every morning) ruin his legendary career with a few slips of the tongue? Imagine if a Rolling Stone reporter had followed Coach Bob Knight around for a few weeks during the IU basketball season!

Oh well, can you imagine President Obama in full combat gear ducking and darting around Afghanistan for a few weeks while he lets off some White House steam with his mates covering his back every day? After a few midnight missions into hostile territory he might just express some frustrations that would sound, well, lets just say not very Presidential.

McChrystal proved once again that living legends are mere humans, but don't worry, this extraordinary and now retired 4 Star General will land on his feet and be back in the thick of battle quicker than you can say Woody Hayes. I hope he ends up in Washington D.C. We need more focused and fearless leaders on Capital Hill.

And as for Lady Gaga....I can only hope that her greatest tumble is a fall in the airport while wearing 10" heels.

Cheers John Barry ! Runnin down a dream...

2010-07-20T17:18:00.000-07:00

Great news for John Reynolds.......he was just promoted to a new position of incredible responsibility with the company he works for in NYC. Well done son! Can't wait to get our arms around you again soon. Love Annie, Nick, Peter and of course MOM and DAD

Cantaloupe TV

2010-07-19T14:10:00.000-07:00

What's your motivation? Cantaloupe TV

The Sex Question

2010-07-13T14:28:00.000-07:00

I am currently reading A New Kind of Christianity - Ten Questions That Are Transforming The Faith by Brian D. McLaren. I must admit that it is a much better book than I suspected.

Starting from the back of the book and reading Chapter 22 first - Conclusion: A New Kind of Christianity, gave me the motivation to plow ahead reading from back to front each chapter in descending order. (This has been a useful practice that helps me determine whether or not to actually begin reading an entire book.)

Chapter 17 is entitled: Can We Find a Way to Address Human Sexuality Without Fighting About It?

The chapter begins with this admission from Brian:

"I don't want to be closed-minded or judgmental, but in good conscience I simply can't approve of the lifestyle. I believe it's a choice, although upbringing and genetics may have a role. Freedom has limits - one limit being where others are hurt by a chosen lifestyle. And this lifestyle, there can be no mistake, is hurting a lot of people. Families are being torn apart by it, and churches too. There is absolutely no question about God's opinion on this lifestyle if we begin with the Bible. This orientation and the behaviors associated with it are thoroughly condemned by Jesus. He was compassionate toward all kinds of people, but he had an absolute and uncompromising commitment to confront and expose one group: those who dishonor themselves and others by engaging in this lifestyle and its practices.

When people choose this lifestyle, they often cut themselves off from everyone who doesn't agree with them. They end up being assimilated and absorbed in closed communities where only their own voices and views are heard, and everyone who disagrees is mocked and condemned, often with very strong language. Some, after giving themselves over completely to the lifestyle, have a crisis of conscience. But when they want to leave, their leaders and peers depict their changing perspective as a betrayal, and pressure them to stay, often using fear tactics to intimidate them and keep them in their gated community. Special ministries have formed to help people exit the lifestyle, recover from the abuse and pain the community has been known to impose, and be reoriented to a healthier life and perspective. But even with professional therapy, many people feel they have been wounded for life by their years in this lifestyle.

Advocates of this lifestyle are eager to recruit others into their "love," as they call it. Through various organizations, they raise huge sums of money to recruit youth and children into their chosen way of life, and they have been extremely adept at using media - radio, TV, and now the Internet - to gain an aura of credibility and legitimacy. They organize huge and mass rallies to celebrate their growing clout and demonstrate that they are proud of who they are and what they stand for. Everyone knows how much influence they have in our political system, and how one political party in particular panders for their votes.

Yes, activists may use the word "love" to justify their behavior, but those who disagree with them are seldom treated with love."

As you may have guessed by now, Brian is speaking of what he terms fundasexuality. This neologism describes a very reactive, confrontative form of religious fundamentalism that is preoccupied with sex. It refers to that boisterous and righteously angry crowd which tends to dominate conservative branches of religion while declaring war on any who differ.

Fundasexuality is essentially an anxious orientation, less rooted in faith, and more in fear. A fear of new ideas, of new ways of processing life and of heterophobia - a fear of people who are different.

Sociology teaches us that groups often need a scapegoat to project their anxiety upon. They can manage without a god, but often need a devil or someone identified as an evil threat to rally the troops around. Groups in the majority are fond of projecting their fears and anxieties on smaller minority groups and gay people makeup between 3 and 10 percent of each society. Just the right size to be the brunt of many self-righteous blame throwers.

McLaren goes on to point out that our current cultural preoccupation with sexuality is a symptom of a much larger and growing dissatisfaction with inherited frameworks and stock answers to the basic questions he addresses in this book.

In Book One he highlights 1. The Narrative Question, 2. The Authority Question, 3. The God Question, 4. The Jesus Question, and 5. The Gospel Question. In Book Two he highlights 6. The Church Question, 7. The Sex Question, 8. The Future Question, 9. The Pluralism Question and finally, 10. The What-Do-We-Do-Now Question.

If this is not enough to make you interested in reading his new book, listen to how he starts the chapter titled The Church Question: What Do We Do About the Church?

"Many if not most of our churches are perfectly designed and well equipped to promote and support the five paradigms we have questioned so far: the Greco-Roman narrative, the constitutional approach to the Bible, a vision of a tribal and violent God, a rather flattened view of Jesus, and a domesticated understanding of the gospel. When we unlock the gates of those paradigms and begin to emerge into new territory, we find this question waiting for us: What do we do about the church?

I would recommend you get a copy of this thought provoking book by McLaren, but be prepared for angry rock throwing antagonists that might want to take off your head with a well placed stone.

What did Stephen say when he was dying?

Olay.....Olay.........Olay! Saint Penelope challenging the Dutch

2010-07-10T05:36:00.000-07:00

Spain is playing with the passion and imagination of Picasso.......can't wait to see how they handle another strong young side from northern Europe. We were in Barcelona when they won the European championship and have to go with Saint Penelope and her...in your face confidence!

Cheers,

Open Hand July Events - Welcome Home Elisabeth Harnes of Norway!

2010-07-04T13:49:00.000-07:00

July 5th - 3174 Monday Night Feast - 'Childhood Favorites" - bring a favorite childhood dish around 7:00pm and join Carley, Eric, Liz and the gang for a stimulating after dinner conversation with Stuart Mora (plight of hotel workers in Indianapolis) - liberty and justice for all...

July 16th - Curb Your Anxiety Friday - Reynolds porch from 5:30-9:00pm - pizza and beer with Bob Hunter, and time to greet Elisabeth Harnes from Norway and her son Emmanuel.

July 25th - Open Hand Pitch-in Gathering Sunday at 3174 - welcoming the Cranes to their new home while we help prepare for their transition. Time to be announced.

Hope to see you here! Cheers, O'

hTC EVO 4G with Google - Intelligent Evolution

2010-07-01T16:44:00.000-07:00

I still can't believe I let my son Nick talk me into upgrading three of our six family phones to the new hTC EVO 4G with Google. Fortunately, I was one of the three getting the new technology and can no longer be made fun of by my friends with other fancy smart phones.

One look at my sweet ride curbed with a kickstand and they quickly turn aside and mumble something about getting an upgrade soon.

So far we all love our new ride and the battery life has handled everything we've thrown at it, well at least everything that Nick and John have. I'm still just learning how to add apps, make movies, take pictures and download them to my Facebook.

You get the picture. I am evolving along with my hTC EVO 4G with Google. By the time Indianapolis gets 4G coverage, I might actually need it. For now I am thrilled that I have a thin, cool ride that slides right into my Mr. Fancy Pants pockets.

Merry Christmas in July Nick and John.

Cheers,

DAD

PS Thanks Nick for bugging me daily for the past two months about getting the EVO. Some things never change!

What is TEVECTOS ? What does it mean?

2010-06-30T12:06:00.000-07:00

History is full of giants who couldn't adapt !

What is TEVECTOS ? What does it mean ? Take our quiz below:

1. TEVECTOS is the name of a dinosaur found in Spain.

2. TEVECTOS is a rock band founded by six beautiful Greek & Romanian women.

3. TEVECTOS is a combination of Gaelic and Swiss words that means 'define the hell out of yourself or someone else will.'

4. TEVECTOS is a Latin word meaning adapt or perish.

5. TEVECTOS is a post-modern Web 2.0 marketing company in Indianapolis.

6. TEVECTOS is probably all of the above and much more!

Find one correct answer at:http://www.tevectos.com/

Cheers, O'

Red Rover Red Rover Send Elisabeth Over !

2010-06-28T18:08:00.000-07:00

Welcome home Queen Elisabeth and Prince Emmanuel........can't wait to gather you both at the airport. Open Hand will once again roll out the red carpet for our Vikings guests from Bergen.

At your service,

George MacLeod and the Iona Community

2010-06-24T10:05:00.000-07:00

There are some faithful Christians today that are seeking to re-create the Reformation of the 16th century.

George MacLeod - Founder of the Iona Community, reminds us that many Christians...

".....long for a Restoration. They would recover the old Confessions; reinstitute a catechism; rewrite the Tablets, even revert to sixteenth-century architecture. But such a re-creation, superficially laudable is, in fact, idolatry. Idolatry is not essentially the worship of a statue (in Iona or anywhere else!) Idolatry is essentially the worship of a static God....Our God is a God that moves. The paradox of his changelessness is that He is in constant motion. The sixteenth-century Reformers knew this. One of their motto's was 'A Reformed Church is forever to be reformed.' Thus, to be true to them is to be imbued with the same Spirit that informed them. It is, like them, to be concerned only with how to make God living and relevant to one's own age."

Amen, and cheers to Baron George MacLeod of Fuinary (1895-1991)

OPEN HAND Summer Solstice Feast - Monday, June 21

2010-06-16T14:25:00.000-07:00

Join us Monday evening, June 21st for our OPEN HAND Summer Solstice pitch-in feast beginning around 7:30pm . Bring a Celtic dish (Irish/Scottish/Welsh) or cold grog to share as we celebrate the 'thin' space between heaven and earth on the longest day of the year at 3174 N. Delaware Street.

Our annual Summer Solstice Liturgy will begin at sunset after dinner.

cheers,

Ryan - what were we thinking!!!!!

2010-06-11T16:20:00.000-07:00

Shitzzzz Ryan - these dumb animals from Scotland realized that our famous Rhino Tribe slogan on this blog doesn't have the correct three criteria for joining our community.

I can't believe we didn't catch it all these months. No wonder we haven't had many folks travel around the world with us: we forgot # 3 or I guess we could say #4 - you must have a valid passport....(technically the spirit of adventure was always implied and not an actual one of the original three)

So please correct this ASAP.

To be part of our Open Hand community you need four things:

1. Choose adventure over safety

1. The ability to say yes more than no to life's challenges

2. Faith the size of a mustard seed

3. And a valid passport in your pocket

That now make 4, with 2 number 1's.

How could we have let this slip? As they say in South Africa.....SHAME!

Celtic Solstice Feast - Monday June 21st

2010-06-09T12:00:00.000-07:00

Curb Your Anxiety Friday - June 18, 5:30pm

2010-06-08T05:01:00.000-07:00

Curb your anxiety with us on our front porch Friday the 18th for pizza, beer and ongoing discussion with Bob Hunter. Reynolds home - 3173 N. Delaware Street.

Orthoparadoxy....hold it, hold it, hold it......!

2010-06-02T04:04:00.000-07:00

We may be familiar with the Judeo-Christian emphasis of orthodoxy (right thinking) and orthopraxy (right doing) as vital expressions of our faith, but Pastor and writer Dwight Friesen highlights a third category, orthoparadoxy.

In his book, Intuitive Leadership, Tim Keel describes this as.... "living rightly in the tension and mystery of the mysterious and revealed God of the Scriptures. Doing so requires and invites a radical dependence on the Spirit of God living in and working through his people in creation."

With an ability to hold and contain mounting tension (and a no quick fix approach) we encourage creativity and the limitless possibilities that emerge organically from an adaptive posture. He reminds us that uncomfortable tension is a dominant product of the creative process and necessitates us having an ability to "hold seemingly opposing forces in dynamic relationship without privileging one at the expense of the other or too quickly resolving it."

Too often we simply want to reanimate that which has come before us. Instead of embracing new life (which is often messy) and forming flexible organic structures to support this growth, we rely on traditional command and control formats of stability that seek to resolve our anxiety and tension with all too familiar solutions.

This results in historic organizations with rigid inherited structures trying ever harder and harder to find new life and then squeeze it into hierarchical management chains that merely uphold the status quo.

Creative communities and organizations are now tapping into informal networks and decentralized environments where dialogue and mutual discovery are more highly valued than so called expertise.

Instead of chasing the 'specialization experts' and pigeonholing solutions and staff into linear programing where one size fits all, they tap the collective wisdom of the distributed tribe to promote unique frameworks, encouraging these emerging expressions of new life.

One size does not fit all.......Amen.

Intuitive Leadership - Embracing a Paradigm of Narrative, Metaphor & Chaos by Tim Keel

TGIFBMDWeekend ! 5:30pm Open Hand Pitch-in cookout - Reynolds side yard

2010-05-24T09:38:00.000-07:00

Kickoff your holiday weekend on Friday the 28th, 5:30 - 8:30pm - enjoy a pint and grilled meat at our home - 3173 N. Delaware Street. Bring a side dish/desert to share and we will provide the drinks and meat (including salmon). Cheers, O'

Sexuality + Love + Intimacy = Spiritual Awakening

2010-05-09T18:57:00.000-07:00

Spring begins the passionate season of the year when young couples gravitate towards committed relationships with their lovers. Many will make promises of fidelity to one another and begin the arduous journey of engagement leading up to marriage.

Ken Wilber (Sex, Ecology and Spirituality) explores the spiritual dimensions of this passion as couples become better differentiated while exploring their sexual potential. Men tend to become more the men they long to be while becoming more like women - with an increased capacity for emotional connection. In the same way, women better appreciate their unique femaleness, and stop hiding their power and eroticism. They no longer throttle themselves down in fear of intimidating their man.

Sixty five years ago Carl Jung observed this universal process in the couples that came to him for therapy. As they became more individuated (his word for differentiation) and balanced (their anima and animus) they developed a greater spiritual hunger for God. Jung considered this a natural and spontaneous manifestation of Divine cooperative interaction with a willing and hungry human soul.

David Schnarch (Passionate Marriage) has written extensively about these insights. As a sex therapist, he highlights the writing of Sebastian Moore, who describes what desire out of fullness looks like. For the most part Western civilization has kept sex and spirit at a 'safe' distance, if not pitted irreconcilably against each other. Generally speaking orthodox theology has tended to portray spiritual desire as necessarily devoid of sensuality. Moore on the other hand embraces the unabashedly erotic spiritual 'passion' of the saints.

For him, spiritual awakening need not transcend all desire, because many desires set us free. The desire for wisdom, compassion, generosity and, justice, not to mention a greater capacity for love and understanding life. These desires expand our capacities for self-direction, connection with significant others and ultimately our communion with God . For these reasons Moore stresses that spiritual growth involves the ability to desire more fully, rather than the negative focus on the absence of desire.

Schnarch reminds us that as sex, love and intimacy involve a myriad of developmental task, so too, does true spirituality. These passionate desires from fullness are fueled by a growing internal source: a better defined, well connected and growing sense of what it means to be a human created in the image of God. These energized folks develop a greater capacity for sexual fulfillment and of deeply wanting their partner and their God.

Desiring our partner out of fullness requires our wanting to want. When we dare to embrace our talents, rather than believing we are a failure who's fooled everyone, we make a giant leap of faith. Instead of giving up as little as possible (a 'least lost' strategy for life) we go after what we really want. Imagine that.

We always give up something in this process, but that is an acceptable fact of life. We can't have it all. Happiness lies in not needing it all. Loss is always inherent in getting what we want - unless we want everything, which guarantees we'll be unhappy.

Our desire out of fullness is in essence a 'death wish' and crises like falling in love, undergoing conversion, or suffering bereavement present the challenging realization that the 'you' whose desire brought this about must die. To fulfill your desires, you must change in ways that make that fulfillment possible. Ultimately the smaller 'you' dies as the more mature, unique 'you', is born again. In other words we desire our self to death in the most positive sense of the word.

We may mourn the 'old self' dying in the process of our new self being born,but this death gives life. We may think we don't know who we are, but really we don't yet know who we are becoming. Ironically, we have never been clearer about who we want to be.

Once we recognize ourselves as a temple of the Holy Spirit, then our refusal to grow is not just an individual shortcoming but ultimately a thwarting of this same Holy Spirit. This is where sin comes in to the picture.

Sins isn't about unconfined desire. Rather sin is our refusal to desire more fully, and our refusal to believe in ourselves while living below our God given potential. Sin can then be defined as our 'not wanting to want.' Becoming is never safe or secure. We can't stop when we are frightened or uncomfortable, because we ultimately grow by going into the unknown, including the Great Unknown.

So to all you passionate couples out there I say Cheers! Don't be surprised if in pursuing the love of your life, you get more than you bargained for. Much more.......Amen!

Highlights by O'Steven - Passionate Marriage - by David Schnarch

OPEN HAND May Events - Please join us!

2010-05-07T07:53:00.000-07:00

Please join us for our OPEN HAND May events:

Curb Your Anxiety - Friday the 14th, 5:00 - 7:00om - with Bob Hunter on the porch at 3173 N. Delaware Street. Enjoy pizza and a pint of SUN KING grog while we kick back with Bob.
Ancient/Future Worship - Sunday the 16th, 6:00pm - 3174 N. Delaware Street
Pitch-in feast to kick off Memorial Day weekend - Friday the 28th at 5:30pm in the yard at 3173 N. Delaware Street
Crash Chapel Prayers every Friday morning 7:00am - 3174 N. Delaware Street

Cheers, O'

Bi-polar 20th Century American Psychiatry

2010-05-07T05:27:00.000-07:00

".......in the first half of the 20th century, American psychiatry was virtually 'brainless.' In the second half of the 20th century, psychiatry became virtually 'mindless.'"

Leon Eisenberg, an early pioneer in psychopharmacology at Harvard

The notion of the brainless period refers to psychiatry's total infatuation with Freud and his theory of psychoanalysis; as we all know the reference to the mindless period well describes our modern day love affair with prescription drugs.

Today psychiatry is focused primarily on alleviating symptoms, corralling them into scientific categories (see psychiatry's diagnostic manual, DSM-IV and new DSM-V) and then finding the appropriate drug to match.

Perhaps we need to re-think this bi-polar pendulum and re-frame the question of how best to serve the needs of those seeking help for their mental health problems. What exactly do we mean by mental health anyway?

For starters you could read the excellent article in the April 25th issue of The New York Times Magazine - Mind over Meds by Daniel Carlat. He really does a great job of framing the issues and describing the challenges of 21st century American psychiatry.

'Bootcamp' For Your Marriage (Or Not)

2010-05-05T11:28:00.001-07:00

Has your marriage or love life ever reminded you of what its like trying to sync two radically different computer systems with a single operating system? Are you a Mac and your lover a PC? Or visa versa?

You may want to try to 'bootcamp' your relationship with the love of your life. This allows you to run Windows on your Mac. Imagine that. You can create a non-destructive repartition allowing both systems to coexist on the same platform.

We get to remain distinct yet deeply connected. This reminds me a bit of Murray Bowen and his idea of relational differentiation within emotional systems.

Actually, now that I have bootcamped my new Mac I am somewhat conflicted and find it annoying to always have to be shutting down one system to open the other. There is no neat button or toggle switch (at least to my knowledge) to move seamlessly back and forth.

So, I appear to be heading for a possible divorce by having both my PC laptop and Mac desktop running separately side by side when I'm at the office. I guess it was just too good to be true. Much like the relational life with our lover, it is very difficult for the two to become one. Generally one person will dominate the other or both will fuse and loose their unique selves.

I am satisfied and more content with both my PC and Mac when they are doing what they each do best - be themselves. Perhaps I can do a twitter search and find out where I can get a magic button that will allow me to bootcamp a more blissful honeymoon between my PC and Mac. At this point I am not holding my breathe.

In fact, I am happy that my wife Ann is more like a PC and I am more like a Mac. Or is it the other way around? It probably doesn't really matter as long as we stay side by side doing what we each do best - be our own true selves.

Cheers, and enjoy the challenge of being with the one you love.

HOW (NOT) TO SPEAK OF GOD by Peter Rollins

2010-05-02T16:14:00.000-07:00

If you haven't yet read How (Not) To Speak of God, I would challenge you to pick up a copy today and dive in. Peter is one of the new leaders forging an orthodox Christian theology within a postmodern context. He has woven a complex tapestry of emerging patterns from his profound knowledge of postmodern philosophical scholarship and his equally insightful perspectives of orthodox Judeo-Christian faith.

From the Hebrew prophets to the great Christian mystics, Peter combines his perspectives through the contrasting lens of his Pentecostal/Evangelical experiences as a disciple of Jesus.

He is a leading voice in the 'emergent conversation' and firing the imagination of a whole new generation of faithful scholars and theologians that are learning to speak of God meaningfully in the context of post-modernity.

Get in on the conversation and enjoy the challenge of what God is doing right here, right now, and all across the world. Amen. You can find Peter at http://peterrollins.net/.

Cheers,

Got a light? - John Steinbeck

2010-04-30T13:00:00.000-07:00

"There's no need for giving the girl a name. She never came back to Western Biological. Her interest in science blinked out like a candle, but a flame was lighted in Doc.

The flame of conception seems to flare and go out, leaving man shaken, and at once happy and afraid. There's plenty of precedent of course. Everyone knows about Newton's apple. Charles Darwin and his Origin of Species flashed complete in one second, and he spent the rest of his life backing it up; and the theory of relativity occurred to Einstein in the time it takes to clap your hands. This is the greatest mystery of the human mind - the inductive leap. Everything falls into place, irrelevancies relate, dissonance becomes harmony, and nonsense wears a crown of meaning. But the clarifying leap springs from the rich soil of confusion, and the leaper is not unfamiliar with pain." Sweet Thursday by John Steinbeck

Take a leap and enjoy the pain! Cheers, O'

Curb Your Anxiety Friday - May 7th with Bob Hunter

2010-04-24T05:17:00.000-07:00

Curb Your Anxiety Friday afternoon May 7th, 4:30-7:00pm at our home - 3173 N. Delaware Street - for our ongoing Open Hand conversation with Bob Hunter. (We switched from this Friday the 30th because Bob is recovering from hip replacement and the associated pain.) Enjoy a pint of Sun King grog and pizza on our porch as we think out loud together........cheers, O'

Abbey of Gethsemani - Founded 1848

2010-04-20T18:28:00.000-07:00

The Abbey of Our Landy of Gethsemani is the oldest monastery still in use in the USA. Say what? Don't tell your international friends about this. Many live in homes built before 1848 and their local pubs are at least a century older.

This historic Kentucky landmark is known for its Gethsemani Farm store that offers handmade Trappist cheese, fruitcake and bourbon fudge!

We had an opportunity to participate in the vespers prayer service Saturday with the white robed monks and enjoyed chanting the liturgy with them.

Thomas Merton arrived at Gethsemani in the early 1940's and became famous as an acclaimed author and poet. He died at the early age of 53 and is buried in the monks cemetery. Here is his poem entitled - The Trappist Cemetery

Return them to their souls to learn

The songs and attitudes of glory

Then will creation rise again like gold

Clean, from the furnace of your litanies:

The beasts and trees shall share your resurrection,

And a new world be born from these green tombs.

CONTROL - information chastity belts

2010-04-18T19:33:00.000-07:00

The Creative Energy of the Universe: IN-FORMATION

Highlighted by O'Steven from Leadership and the New Science by M.J. Wheatley

Self-organizing system = can be thought of as a process of energy that manifest itself in physical formation.

Life uses information to organize matter into forms, resulting in physical structures that we can see. The role of information is revealed in the word itself: IN-FORMATION. When new structures materialize, we know a system has in-formed itself differently.

Closed system = will wind down and eventually decay, another victim of the Second Law of Thermodynamics.

GENESIS - is the opposite of management and control as the source of life is new information, novelty, ordered into new structures. We need information coursing through our systems, disturbing the peace, imbuing everything it touches with the possibility of new life.

FREEDOM - is required for new birth, and information is a unique resource because it can generate itself, like an inexhaustible solar energy for organizations - with new progeny possible with every interpretation. When communication occurs in a shared and open context, fertility abounds.

Management function - is often accompanied with dark cloaks of control and usually comes with an information chastity belt. When rumors proliferate and gossip get out of hand, it is a sign that people lack the genuine article - honest meaningful information.

Given that we all need to be continually nourished by information, it is no small wonder that employees cite "poor communication" as one of their greatest problems.

ORGANIZATIONS - information can serve an organizational function because they are open systems and can be responsive to the same self-organizing dynamics as all other life systems. To foster these self-organizing capacities in our organizations we have to work with information the same way life does. We need to create much free access to it, and become more astute at noticing new information as it emerges.

INTELLIGENCE - if a system has the capacity to process information, to notice and respond, then that system possesses the quality of intelligence. The greater the ability to process information, the greater the level of intelligence.

NOURISHMENT - we need to begin thinking of information as nourishment rather than merely power. We all have to learn how to support the workings of each other, to realize that intelligence is distributed and that it is our role to nourish others with truthful, meaningful information.

INNOVATION - It is no longer the leader's task to move information carefully along restricted pathways, shepherding it cautiously through channels, passing it on guardedly to someone else. Innovation is fostered by information gathered from new connections; from insights gained by journeys into other disciplines or places; from active, collegial networks and fluid, open boundaries.

RELATIONSHIPS - Knowledge grows inside relationship, from ongoing circles of exchange where information is not just accumulated by individuals, but is willingly shared. Information-rich , ambiguous environments are the source of surprising new births.

RESPONSIBILITY - An individual without information, can't take responsibility, but an individual who is given information can't help but take responsibility. One of an organizations most critical competencies is to create the conditions that both generate new knowledge and help it to be freely shared.

QUANTUM PHYSICS - Here we see relational holism, where whole systems are created by the interactions among subatomic particles. In this process, the parts don't remain as parts; they are drawn together by a process of internal connectedness.

COMING TOGETHER - We sometimes experience a great team effort, one that far exceeds what could have been done alone, and these always feel slightly miraculous. As we begin to understand our participation in a universe that thrives on open information and that works with us to self-organize into systems of increased capacity, we might challenge ourselves to drop our information chastity belts and tap into that great creative energy of the universe: IN-FORMATION.

Cheers,

Our Fuzzy Universe - Enjoy the Challenge

2010-04-14T18:07:00.000-07:00

Here are a few challenging quantum notions to ponder the next time you encounter the fuzzy nature of this universe we call home. I have been wrestling with much of the material in the book MIRACLES by C.S. Lewis over the past weeks and can't quite seem to come to grips with all that he is saying. So much hovers on the tip of my brain, only to be lost as soon as I try to recall it in any meaningful manner. One moment I get a basic insight and the next moment it vanishes just like that. So I decided to copy this section in Rhino Rumblings so I can glance back at it and maybe absorb bits and pieces every now and then. Hope you enjoy the challenge also....cheers, O'

"...it is probable that Nature is not really in Time and almost certain that God is not. Time is probably (like perspective) the mode of our perception. There is therefore in reality no question of God's at one point in time (the moment of creation) adapting the material history of the universe in advance to free acts which you or I are to perform at a later point in Time. To Him all the physical events and all the human acts are present in an eternal Now. The liberation of finite wills and the creation of the whole material history of the universe (related to the acts of those wills in all the necessary complexity) is to Him a single operation. In this sense God did not create the universe long ago but creates it at this minute - at every minute."

"When we are praying about the result, say, of a battle or a medical consultation, the thought will often cross our minds that (if only we knew it) the event is already decided one way or the other. I believe this to be no good reason for ceasing our prayers. The event certainly has been decided - in a sense it was decided "before all worlds." But one of the things taken into account in deciding it, and therefore one of the things that really cause it to happen, may be this very prayer that we are now offering. Thus, shocking as it may sound, I conclude that we can at noon become part causes of an event occurring at ten a.m. (Some scientists would find this easier than popular thought does.)"

"The imagination will, no doubt, try to play all sorts of tricks on us at this point. It will ask, "Then if I stop praying can God go back and alter what has already happened?" No. The event has already happened and one of its causes has been the fact that you are asking such questions instead of praying. It will ask, "Then if I begin to pray can God go back and alter what has already happened?" No. The event has already happened and one of its causes is your present prayer. Thus something does really depend on my choice. My free act contributes to the cosmic shape. That contribution is made in eternity or "before all worlds"; but my consciousness of contributing reaches me at a particular point in the time-series."

"The following question may be asked: If we can reasonably pray for an event which must in fact have happened or failed to happen several hours ago, why can we not pray for an event which we know not to have happened? e.g. pray for the safety of someone who, as we know, was killed yesterday. What makes the difference is precisely our knowledge. The known event states God's will. It is psychologically impossible to pray for what we know to be unobtainable; and if it were possible the prayer would sin against the duty of submission to God's known will."

(AT THIS POINT SOME READERS MIGHT WANT TO LOOK AT SCHROEDINGER'S CAT WHICH IS A CLASSIC THOUGHT PROBLEM IN QUANTUM PHYSICS. If I am not mistaken this sheds some light on the role that 'knowledge' plays in determining reality. But I may be wrong.)

"One more consequence remains to be drawn. It is never possible to prove empirically that a given, non-miraculous event was or was not an answer to prayer. Since it was non-miraculous the sceptic can always point to its natural causes and say, "Because of these it would have happened anyway," and the believer can always reply, "But because these were only links in a chain of events, hanging on other links, and the whole chain hanging upon God's will, they may have occurred because someone prayed. The efficacy of prayer, therefore, cannot be either asserted or denied without an exercise of the will - the will choosing or rejecting faith in the light of a whole philosophy."

"This impossibility of empirical proof is a spiritual necessity. A man who knew empirically that an event had been caused by his prayer would feel like a magician. His head would turn and his heart would be corrupted. The Christian is not to ask whether this or that event happened because of a prayer. He is rather to believe that all events without exception are answers to prayer in the sense that whether they are grantings or refusals the prayers of all concerned and their needs have all been taken into account. All prayers are heard, though not all prayers are granted."

"We must not picture destiny as a film unrolling for the most part on its own, but in which our prayers are sometimes allowed to insert additional items. On the contrary, what the film displays to us as it unrolls already contains the results of our prayers and of all our other acts. There is no question whether an event has happened because of your prayer. When the event you prayed for occurs your prayer has always contributed to it. When the opposite event occurs your prayer has never been ignored; it has been considered and refused, for your ultimate good and the good of the whole universe."("For example, because it is better for you and for everyone else in the long run that other people, including wicked ones, should exercise free will than that you should be protected from cruelty or treachery by turning the human race into automata.)

"But this is, and must remain, a matter of faith. You will, I think, only deceive yourself by trying to find special evidence for it in some cases more than in others."

C.S. Lewis MIRACLES

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall......

2010-04-07T20:09:00.000-07:00

"If a man says, "Humpty Dumpty is falling," you see at once that this is not a complete story. The bit you have been told implies both a later chapter in which Humpty Dumpty will have reached the ground, and an earlier chapter in which he was still seated on the wall. A Nature which is "running down" cannot be the whole story. A clock can't run down unless it has been wound up. Humpty Dumpty can't fall off a wall which never existed. If a Nature which disintegrates order were the whole of reality, where would she find any order to disintegrate? Thus on any view there must have been a time when processes the reverse of those we now see were going on: a time of winding up. The Christian claim is that those days are not gone for ever. Humpty Dumpty is going to be replaced on the wall - at least in the sense that what has died is going to recover life, probably in the sense that the inorganic universe is going to be re-ordered. Either Humpty Dumpty will never reach the ground (being caught in mid-fall by the everlasting arms) or else when he reaches it he will be put together again and replaced on a new and better wall. Admittedly, science discerns no "Kings horses and men" who can put Humpty Dumpty together again. But you would not expect her to. She is based on observation: and all our observations are observations of Humpty Dumpty in mid-air. They do not reach either the wall above or the ground below - much less the King with His horses and men hastening towards the spot. The Transfiguration or "Metamorphosis" of Jesus is also no doubt, an anticipatory glimpse of something to come." Amen, O'

C.S. Lewis MIRACLES

Open Hand Worship - Sunday, April 11, 6:30pm

2010-04-06T15:42:00.000-07:00

"We live in a universe where relationships are primary....and nothing exists independent of its relationships. We are constantly creating the world - evoking it from many potentials - as we participate in all its many interactions. We live in a world where who we are depends on who we meet." M.J. Wheatley Leadership and the New Science

Join our community as we celebrate the resurrection of our Lord and ongoing relationship with Jesus. May we continually evoke life transforming potentials in the world around us as we interact together with Jesus in his Kingdom. Amen.

Sunday Worship, 6:30pm, 3174 N. Delaware Street, baby sitting provided

The Participative Nature of the Universe

2010-04-02T16:37:00.000-07:00

"In the quantum world, what you see is what you get." Margaret J. Wheatley Leadership and the New Science

In my mind this is the foundational cornerstone of paradoxical quantum physics. The new science explains that there is fundamentally no objective reality out there waiting to be discovered. Instead we live in a universe -

that co-evolves as we interact with it
where ideas and information are only part of what is required to evoke reality
that is constantly changing and impossible to pin down
in which there are no 'building blocks' of matter
where relationships are the key determiner of everything
and subatomic particles come into form only in relationship to something else
where unseen connections between what were previously thought to be separate entities are the fundamental ingredient of all creation
which is a living system constantly seeking its own self-renewal
where differentiation is the defining metaphor - with each organism maintaining a clear identity within a larger network of relationships that help shape its identity

Quantum reality also challenges our beliefs about objective measurement because at the subatomic level the observer can't make an observation without interfering and actually participating in its creation. In other words, when we choose what to look for or measure, we actually evoke one particular outcome while the vast number of potential outcomes collapses in cooperation with our expectation.

In the quantum world, physicists describe relationship as all there is to reality. Particles only come into being through interactions with other energy sources. And even though we give names to these sources - neutrons, electrons, and other particles - no particle can be identified independently from the others. We can begin to think about elementary particles as "bundles of potentiality."

Here is the real kicker: No one of us exists independent of our relationship with others. Various people and environments evoke certain qualities from us and leave others dormant. In each of these varied relationships over time and space, we express ourselves according to our interaction with that particular system of influence.

A system can be defined as a set of processes that are made visible in temporary structures - like work, home, church, pub, school, club.......that exert an influence on everyone that comes into the relational orbit of that emotional field.

"Each of us is a different person in different places. That doesn't make us inauthentic; it merely makes us quantum. Not only are we fuzzy; the whole universe is." M.J. Wheatley

Thus if there is not objective reality 'out there', then the environment and our futures remain uncreated until we engage with the present field of influence we find ourselves in. We have to interact with the world around us in order to see what we might create, and through this engagement we evoke ours and others futures.

Power can be seen to be purely relational in nature and full of energy (positive or negative) that flows through an emotional field. Healthy relationships are possible in each system of influence and perhaps love is the most potent source of that relational power.

I don't utilize elaborate plans or time lines and instead choose to focus on being a better colleague and learner. Trusting the process over time with other people, has shown me that we can co-create a complex tapestry of rich diversity in the midst of profound connections. We seem to each become clearer about who we are and want to be, while remaining deeply connected to one another.

Perhaps its time to give up the urge to control anyone else, and instead focus on how we might team up with our family, friends and associates to co-create something new within our sphere of influence. We might just surprise ourselves and the watching world around us. Amen.

"Your think because you understand one you must understand two, because one and one makes two. But you must also understand and." Sufi teaching

Adapted by O'Steven from Leadership and The New Science by Wheatley

Open Hand - April Calendar of Events

2010-03-30T15:18:00.000-07:00

WORSHIP: Sunday April 11, 6:30pm 3174 N. Delaware Street

GATHERING: Sunday April 25, 6:30pm Reynolds Home 3173 N. Delaware Street

CRASH CHAPEL PRAYER: Each Friday morning, 6:45 - 8:45am 3174 N. Delaware Street

CONVERSATION with Bob Hunter: Friday April 30th, 4:30 - 7:00pm Reynolds Home

MONDAY DINNER at Carley's place: Monday April 12 & April 26, 7:00pm 3174 N. Delaware Street

Passover Seder celebration - Monday 7:00pm

2010-03-28T07:48:00.000-07:00

Please join our Open Hand community for a Passover Seder celebration, Monday the 29th, 7:00pm - at Carley's home - 3174 N. Delaware Street. Pitch-in meal included. Shalom.

Money..money..money..money.........MONEY !

2010-03-23T04:25:00.000-07:00

MONEY - exploring the relationship between money and anxiety.

Join us Friday afternoon, March 26th from 4:30 - 7:00pm, for the beginning of an ongoing conversation with Bob Hunter. Curb your anxiety at the door of the Reynolds home - 3173 N. Delaware Street. Refreshments included of course!

Money as a generator of anxiety
Money as an attempt to bind anxiety
Money as an expression of anxious reactivity
Money and anxious families

Find Money..money..money..money..........MONEY! on YouTube the next day.

Saint Patrick's Breastplate

2010-03-16T18:25:00.000-07:00

St. Patrick helped the Irish transmute their pagan virtues of loyalty, courage, and generosity into the Christian equivalents of faith, hope and charity.

I arise today

Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,

Through belief in the threeness,

Through confession of the oneness

Of the Creator of Creation.

I arise today

Through the strength of Christ's birth with his baptism,

Through the strength of his crucifixion with his burial,

Through the strength of his resurrection with his ascension,

Through the strength of his descent for the judgment of Doom.

I arise today

Through the strength of the love of Cherubim,

In obedience of angels,

In the service of archangels,

In hope of resurrection to meet with reward,

In prayers of patriarchs,

In predictions of prophets,

In preaching of apostles,

In faith of confessors,

In innocence of holy virgins,

In deeds of righteous men.

I arise today

Through the strength of heaven:

Light of sun,

Radiance of moon,

Splendor of fire,

Speed of lightning,

Swiftness of wind,

Depth of sea,

Stability of earth,

Firmness of rock.

I arise today

Through God's strength to pilot me:

God's might to uphold me,

God's wisdom to guide me,

God's eye to look before me,

God's ear to hear me,

God's word to speak for me,

God's hand to guard me,

God's way to lie before me,

God's shield to protect me,

God's host to save me

From snares of devils,

From temptations of vices,

From everyone who shall wish me ill,

Afar and anear,

Alone and in multitude.

I summon today all these powers between me and those evils,

Against every cruel merciless power that may oppose my body and soul

Against incantations of false prophets,

Against black laws of pagandom,

Against false laws of heretics,

Against craft of idolatry,

Against spells of witches and smiths and wizards,

Against every knowledge that corrupts man's body and soul.

Christ to shield me today

Against poison, against burning,

Against drowning, against wounding,

So that there may come to me abundance of reward.

Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,

Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,

Christ on my right, Christ on my left,

Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down, Christ when I arise,

Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,

Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,

Christ in every eye that sees me,

Christ in every ear that hears me.

I arise today

Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,

Through belief in the threeness,

Through confession of the oneness,

Of the Creator of Creation.

T.G.I.Spring - Open Hand Schedule of Events

2010-03-15T11:00:00.000-07:00

Please join us for our OPEN HAND Spring events:

1. Monday the 15th - 'African Feast' Pitch-in dinner at Carley and Eric's house - 3174 N. Delaware Street 7:00pm

2. Wednesday the 17th - St. Patrick's Day beer and bonfire in the Reynolds side yard - 3173 N. Delaware Street 6:30pm into the night

3. Friday the 19th - Crash Chapel Prayers - 7:00am - 3174 N. Delaware Street

4. Sunday the 21st - Open Hand pitch-in gathering and Equinox Celebration at the Reynolds home - 3173 N. Delaware Street 6:00pm

5. Friday the 26th - Open Hand - conversation with Bob Hunter - time and place to be announced.

Everyone Welcome !