Rabbi Ed Friedman on Steward of the Vision

"The steward of the 'Vision' is also the steward of the self."

Rabbi Ed Friedman reminds us that a leader is one who can most fire the groups imaginative capacities while stimulating their resources.

In his thinking a leader:

1. functions with integrity
2. promotes responsibility in others
3. clearly defines themselves to others
4. regulates their own anxiety
5. stay's connected to others
6. stimulates the groups strengths and resources
7. stays the course

Leaders act on what they believe and try to live life to the max. Effective leaders:

a. are focused on self (integrity, responsibility) and not on others
b. focus on strength and empower people, stirring the groups resources, enlarging everyone's options
c. they help people grow by discerning between content and process, giving time to situations, and staying goal oriented
d. focus on challenge and not on comfort - without shaming or scolding, instead asking questions, pointing everyone to the imaginative capacities of the cortex, inviting more light

Comforters, appeasers, know it all advisors are not helpful in anxious relationship systems

e. focus on integrity and not unity - looking through the window of our soul, not on pleasing or being nice (not mechanical maneuvering of people, or our need for others love and approval)

Love is only possible when we speak through the window of our own soul and speak the truth as we experience it.

There is no true unity if integrity is compromised - being committed to the truth is far more powerful than any technique.

f. focus on the system and not the symptom - we sometimes see what is happening but not what led to it (preoccupied with a symptom and its cause or relief rather than on the system) We then miss what the system is about, the structure, patterns and proceses behind the symptoms.

Integrity = soundness, completeness, unity, purity (synonym - honesty)

Secrecy = anxious reactivity - it only produces more anxiety, secrets therefore are generators of triangles and the secrecy itself is harmful, not the contents of the secret.

Secret meetings (closed) neglect the counsel to speak the truth in love. We often protect and refuse to expose irresponsible whispers.

Adapted from Rabbi Ed Friedman books - Generation to Generation and Failure of Nerve